More threads by Into The Light

i've been feeling blue again and not wanting to do the work to make myself feel better. thoughts go through my head that this is just a part of me, that i've been unhappy for most of my life, and that this is how it'll be. i've gotten comfortable being back to feeling low-grade unhappiness. i don't want to change. it's like i want to be unhappy. i am choosing to be unhappy. how does this make sense?

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
This, of course, is part of the distorted thinking that is characteristic of depression, ladybug. But it's also, I think, a fact of life for people prone to depression that there will be moments or days like this, times when it's hard to summon up the energy or motivation to challenge and combat the distorted thoughts.

At times, what I've personally found useful is to give myself "permission" NOT to fight it for a while... basically, to go into the depressed feelings and thoughts and let myself "wallow" in them for a while (for want of a better word). To be honest, sometimes I've found if I do that it's like I get through that black tunnel faster. Maybe it's because I get tired of the feelings or myself when I do that...

I'm not recommending that you ignore or give into such thoughts and feelings for extended periods of time, of course. For me, it rarely lasts longer than a day at most. I find it's usually associated with being overtired or physically feeling unwell, and often an early night and a decent sleep brings a new and much brighter day.

Daniel E.
BTW, if I'm just in a funk and not super depressed, I get more done in a day if I take the time to do really fun things, such as watching an uplifting comedy like 10 Items or Less or Little Miss Sunshine. This is why I like the "unschedule" principle discussed in The Now Habit. The basic idea is expressed in the first step:

1. Schedule only:
• Previously committed time such as meal, sleep, meetings
• Free time, recreation, leisure reading
• Socializing
• Health activities such as swimming, running, tennis
• Routine structured events such as commuting time, classes, medical appointments etc.

Fill it in with as many non-work activities as possible; do not schedule work on projects (the purpose of the unschedule is to guarantee the legitimacy of your personal time).


i feel guilty for indulging myself in these feelings. it doesn't only affect me. i just wish things could have been different.
I know how you feel Ladybug.

I wish I could give you words to get you through this, but I can't seem to find any.

I do know, that for myself, keeping myself in the thought mode of I should have done better, more, or known better, or done things differently, makes me feel even more down.

Are you on any meds for depression? (I'm thinking about going back on the zoloft again. I told doc that if I felt I needed it when I went off it before I would ask for it)

:hug: :hug: sending a few your way, hope you feel better.

just mary

Hi LB,

How long have you been feeling this way (again)? I'm only asking to see if it's a funk or something more lasting. If it's been longer than a couple of weeks maybe you should see your doctor.

Take care and :hug:



I don't think you really want to be unhappy, ladybug. If that were the case, you wouldn't be here; nor, would you be worrying about the way you feel. :hug:

You might need an adjustment in your medications, or you may just be going through a temporary funk. They're no fun, but they are usually self-limiting. As Mary suggested, if it goes on for more than a couple of weeks, it's time to really take it seriously. Otherwise, try to ride it out taking one step at a time. We'll be here for you. :hug:


Guilty and sins create future punishments into your subconsinous.
Work on your favorite hobby and enjoy doing. All the best.
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