David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
How Pets Can Help with Self Care
by Samantha Pearson, Femsplain
Sep 9, 2016
I?m a busy person. I work a lot; I?m a full-time barista and part-time writer/editor/social media manager. I always have a long to-do list of errands and at-home cleaning tasks, not to mention a planner full of social commitments and family engagements. I like being a busy person.
Unfortunately, being a busy person often means that I?m too busy to remember important things like self care.
Fortunately, my fianc? and I have two cats.
Last year, we adopted two kittens from a litter of six out of a foster home in early winter. We brought them home in February when they were tiny and still somewhat helpless, and it changed the overall atmosphere of our home instantly. Our apartment became a lot less quiet, which seemed like it would have been a bad thing given how badly we both crave time to relax at home. But our cats created a sense of warmth and safety in their constant movement that couldn?t be interpreted as anything but amazing.
It?s been almost two years since we brought the cats home, and in that time they?ve become an unequivocal source of calm and unconditional love. Taking care of them has taught me a lot about taking care of myself, and helping my fianc? take care of them.
Here?s what I mean:
Cats (and pets in general) love you unconditionally.
Most of my life, my family has had pets. I didn?t realize until I struck out on my own and had to deal with long, stressful days without animals to snuggle just how much of a positive effect they had on me growing up.
Whether I?m coming home from an awful work day, a difficult family day, or a long period of travel, I always know that when I open the front door, our cats will come running. It?s awesome to be greeted with so much affection as soon as the door opens. It immediately starts to wash away some of the stress of the day and remind me that life is good.
Pets rely on you to feed them and care for them. But in return, they love you and make you laugh with their silly antics on a daily basis. They don?t care if you made a mistake at work or if you said something hurtful to a friend. They love you. Full stop. And when you?re beating yourself up, oftentimes that?s exactly what you need: unconditional love and affection. It?s an incredible feeling.
They know when you?re upset, and they always want to help.
Although my fianc? and I love both of our cats equally and overwhelmingly, they each have their favorite human. That?s okay! It just means that when my fianc? is stressed out or feeling low, Jojen is the one to climb into their lap and purr until some of that stress dissipates.
Jojen has been known to fall asleep sprawled on computers or textbooks or phones ? whatever is the source of the stress, she seeks to eliminate it by making it inaccessible. She?s quick to notice discomfort and she?s quick to help however she can. She does the same with me, though not as often ? likely because her sister gets there first, which is really, really wonderful.
In my case, my stress manifests itself in one of three ways: insomnia, crying, or a flare-up of my chronic illness. I?ve mostly learned to manage the third one on my own, but the insomnia and crying still make it difficult for me to navigate bad feelings or situations in order to take care of myself.
Since we brought home Jojen and her sister, Tommen, it?s been easier for me to deal. When I can?t sleep, Tommen gets on the bed and crawls into my armpit, flopping down and kneading my side while she purrs really, really loudly. Within minutes, I?ll fall asleep to the sound and the repetitive motion of her kneading, and I?ll wake up in the morning feeling more well-rested than I would if I?d stayed awake all night reading or staring at the ceiling.
When I cry, Tommen crawls onto my chest, puts her paws on my face, and blinks at me until I?m able to calm down. She purrs, low and constant, which keeps me grounded and makes me feel better. The sound is just so soothing.
Taking care of pets motivates you to take better care of yourself.
Our cats rely on us to feed them, care for them, take them to the vet and provide them with attention, affection, and lots of play time. They?re young and they enjoy causing trouble (the number of items Tommen has broken by knocking them off counters and walls is honestly staggering), which means that my fianc? and I have to always be on our A-game, even when we?re really not up for that.
While that can be stressful, I always try to remember my first two points: they love us unconditionally and they always try to help.
So, it only seems fair to return the favor.
Making sure Tommen and Jojen are fed, that their water dishes are full, that their litter box is clean and that their toys are in good repair helps me focus on what else needs to be done. My anxiety increases exponentially when our apartment is messy, so it helps to have motivation to get dirty dishes off the counter (Tommen will knock them off, making an even bigger mess); to sweep (litter stuck to your bare feet is so gross); to eliminate stacks of mail (Jojen loves to chew on paper); to keep pens, pencils, notebooks, and other work/school messes off the floor (anything and everything runs the risk of becoming a cat toy, and things like ink can make them very sick if the pens break while the girls try to play with them).
On days when my anxiety makes it feel impossible to get anything done, focusing first on the cats helps me to get the ball rolling. I find that it usually gets much easier to do the rest of it ? to take care of myself ? once I start.
Having cats has made a marked improvement in our lives. We?ve gone through a lot of major, terrifying changes in the last two years, and having the cats to ease the stress has been so, so important for both of us. I don?t want to speak for my fianc?, but we?ve talked about how glad we are that we adopted the cats on multiple occasions. It comes up especially when we?re feeling the stress of our daily lives, when Jojen or Tommen insert themselves into the conversation by jumping on one of us to remind us that hey, everything is going to be okay!
I don?t want to say that only having larger, furry animals can help with self care. Fish can be soothing to watch swim around their bowls, and they?re a willing ear for problems you need to talk about but don?t feel comfortable getting feedback on. Small animals are just as excited to see you as larger ones are. No matter the size or species of your pet, they will love you unconditionally and help you however they can.
Self care can be really difficult, especially for someone like me whose anxiety is made worse when I feel that I?m being unproductive. Taking time out for myself often makes me feel guilty and more stressed; but taking time out to play with my cats just feels like I?m doing something good for them.
Pets can help in a dozen ways, big and small. Think about adopting one if you can manage it financially and you need a little help taking care of yourself.
by Samantha Pearson, Femsplain
Sep 9, 2016
I?m a busy person. I work a lot; I?m a full-time barista and part-time writer/editor/social media manager. I always have a long to-do list of errands and at-home cleaning tasks, not to mention a planner full of social commitments and family engagements. I like being a busy person.
Unfortunately, being a busy person often means that I?m too busy to remember important things like self care.
Fortunately, my fianc? and I have two cats.
Last year, we adopted two kittens from a litter of six out of a foster home in early winter. We brought them home in February when they were tiny and still somewhat helpless, and it changed the overall atmosphere of our home instantly. Our apartment became a lot less quiet, which seemed like it would have been a bad thing given how badly we both crave time to relax at home. But our cats created a sense of warmth and safety in their constant movement that couldn?t be interpreted as anything but amazing.
It?s been almost two years since we brought the cats home, and in that time they?ve become an unequivocal source of calm and unconditional love. Taking care of them has taught me a lot about taking care of myself, and helping my fianc? take care of them.
Here?s what I mean:
Cats (and pets in general) love you unconditionally.
Most of my life, my family has had pets. I didn?t realize until I struck out on my own and had to deal with long, stressful days without animals to snuggle just how much of a positive effect they had on me growing up.
Whether I?m coming home from an awful work day, a difficult family day, or a long period of travel, I always know that when I open the front door, our cats will come running. It?s awesome to be greeted with so much affection as soon as the door opens. It immediately starts to wash away some of the stress of the day and remind me that life is good.
Pets rely on you to feed them and care for them. But in return, they love you and make you laugh with their silly antics on a daily basis. They don?t care if you made a mistake at work or if you said something hurtful to a friend. They love you. Full stop. And when you?re beating yourself up, oftentimes that?s exactly what you need: unconditional love and affection. It?s an incredible feeling.
They know when you?re upset, and they always want to help.
Although my fianc? and I love both of our cats equally and overwhelmingly, they each have their favorite human. That?s okay! It just means that when my fianc? is stressed out or feeling low, Jojen is the one to climb into their lap and purr until some of that stress dissipates.
Jojen has been known to fall asleep sprawled on computers or textbooks or phones ? whatever is the source of the stress, she seeks to eliminate it by making it inaccessible. She?s quick to notice discomfort and she?s quick to help however she can. She does the same with me, though not as often ? likely because her sister gets there first, which is really, really wonderful.
In my case, my stress manifests itself in one of three ways: insomnia, crying, or a flare-up of my chronic illness. I?ve mostly learned to manage the third one on my own, but the insomnia and crying still make it difficult for me to navigate bad feelings or situations in order to take care of myself.
Since we brought home Jojen and her sister, Tommen, it?s been easier for me to deal. When I can?t sleep, Tommen gets on the bed and crawls into my armpit, flopping down and kneading my side while she purrs really, really loudly. Within minutes, I?ll fall asleep to the sound and the repetitive motion of her kneading, and I?ll wake up in the morning feeling more well-rested than I would if I?d stayed awake all night reading or staring at the ceiling.
When I cry, Tommen crawls onto my chest, puts her paws on my face, and blinks at me until I?m able to calm down. She purrs, low and constant, which keeps me grounded and makes me feel better. The sound is just so soothing.
Taking care of pets motivates you to take better care of yourself.
Our cats rely on us to feed them, care for them, take them to the vet and provide them with attention, affection, and lots of play time. They?re young and they enjoy causing trouble (the number of items Tommen has broken by knocking them off counters and walls is honestly staggering), which means that my fianc? and I have to always be on our A-game, even when we?re really not up for that.
While that can be stressful, I always try to remember my first two points: they love us unconditionally and they always try to help.
So, it only seems fair to return the favor.
Making sure Tommen and Jojen are fed, that their water dishes are full, that their litter box is clean and that their toys are in good repair helps me focus on what else needs to be done. My anxiety increases exponentially when our apartment is messy, so it helps to have motivation to get dirty dishes off the counter (Tommen will knock them off, making an even bigger mess); to sweep (litter stuck to your bare feet is so gross); to eliminate stacks of mail (Jojen loves to chew on paper); to keep pens, pencils, notebooks, and other work/school messes off the floor (anything and everything runs the risk of becoming a cat toy, and things like ink can make them very sick if the pens break while the girls try to play with them).
On days when my anxiety makes it feel impossible to get anything done, focusing first on the cats helps me to get the ball rolling. I find that it usually gets much easier to do the rest of it ? to take care of myself ? once I start.
Having cats has made a marked improvement in our lives. We?ve gone through a lot of major, terrifying changes in the last two years, and having the cats to ease the stress has been so, so important for both of us. I don?t want to speak for my fianc?, but we?ve talked about how glad we are that we adopted the cats on multiple occasions. It comes up especially when we?re feeling the stress of our daily lives, when Jojen or Tommen insert themselves into the conversation by jumping on one of us to remind us that hey, everything is going to be okay!
I don?t want to say that only having larger, furry animals can help with self care. Fish can be soothing to watch swim around their bowls, and they?re a willing ear for problems you need to talk about but don?t feel comfortable getting feedback on. Small animals are just as excited to see you as larger ones are. No matter the size or species of your pet, they will love you unconditionally and help you however they can.
Self care can be really difficult, especially for someone like me whose anxiety is made worse when I feel that I?m being unproductive. Taking time out for myself often makes me feel guilty and more stressed; but taking time out to play with my cats just feels like I?m doing something good for them.
Pets can help in a dozen ways, big and small. Think about adopting one if you can manage it financially and you need a little help taking care of yourself.
