How to Effectively Express Anger

[Halo]

I am going to throw a question out in the hopes of getting a few responses that may be of use to me. I am struggling with a lot of intense anger/rage from past experiences that I am having difficulty with knowing how to express it. In the past I have always internalized the anger that I felt and taken it out on myself but would like to not to that this time and was wondering how everyone else deals with their anger when they need to release it. Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks

 

[Cat Dancer]

Sometimes I focus on my breathing and tell myself I'm breathing my anger out, or if it is directed toward someone, I tell myself I'm breathing YOU out and you cannot hurt me anymore.

I think exercise is effective. Of course you can't always do that.

I also like those little squooshy things you can squeeze.

Writing about it is an idea.

Crumbling up paper.

I also struggle with this and would like to hear some more suggestions.

I am very glad you are looking for other ways to express your anger rather than take it out on yourself. You don't deserve to be hurting yourself.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Ideas from here http://forum.psychlinks.ca/showthread.php?t=515

Angry, frustrated, restless
(These strategies work better sometimes if you talk to the object you are cutting/ tearing/ hitting. Start slowly, explaining why you're hurt and angry. It's okay if you end up ranting or yelling; it can help a lot to vent feelings that way.)

Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:

• Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
• Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
• Hit a punching bag.
• Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
• Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
• Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
• Get a few packages of Silly-Putty or some physical therapy putty and squeeze it, bounce it off a wall, stretch it and then snap it.
• Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
• Break sticks.
• Crank up some music and dance.
• Clean your room (or your whole house).
• Go for a walk/ jog/ run.
• Stomp around in heavy shoes.
• Play handball or tennis.

 

[just mary]

Hi Halo,

I struggle with the same thing and I'm not sure if I can offer any good ideas. But I find running/fast walking (or any intense excercise) can help. And it helps if it's outdoors. It seems to release something inside of me or I'm just so exhausted that I can't be angry anymore.

Take care,

jm

 

[Lilhelp]

Count me in as well Halo.

That list Janet put up is interesting. I like "break a stick". I get so angry I'd break a dang tree.

Always internalized mine as well resulting in self destruction. My big thing used to be breaking other people's prized posessions. I recognized how wrong that is so I started destroying my own "stuff".

Walking though I agree is one awesome way to defuse it all. I walk miles when I get that blinding rage. It really helps and saves a bunch of busted up knick-knacks as well.

 

[Halo]

Thanks Lilhelp for the suggestion of walking, much appreciated. Although I am not in a place of that anger/rage as much anymore, it does still happen from time to time and will remember that for the future.

Thanks again

 

[sunset]

Good to know. There are a lot of good suggestions, and the one I hear most frequently by my Dr, is exercise. It releases endorphines (sp?) in the brain, that is good for you.

 

[Into The Light]

run as fast as you can til you drop. that helps.

 

[sunset]

run as fast as you can til you drop. that helps.

Lol!

 

[Mari]

run as fast as you can til you drop. that helps.

H! Laughter helps. I woke up at 6:15am and was able to function for about four hours then started crying. The anger/rage was so great I thought I could just destroy everything in the house. Since that would probably annoy my family I had to find something more constructive. I decided to check if there were any suggestions here that might help. After a bit of reading I came across the above quote and the image that came to mind was hysterical and I actually started laughing. Next I tried deep breaths and counting, being outside usually helps so I stood out on the porch for a while, next I had a shower and now I feel at least calm enough to write this. Mari

 

[Halo]

Hi Mari,

I am glad that instead of destroying things you decided to come here and see if there were any other things that you could do....good decision :goodjob:

I am gld to hear that you are a little more calm now

Take care

 

[Into The Light]

well i am glad my suggestion is making people laugh, despite it being quite serious it's something that i've done and helped. maybe next time i'll think of this thread and laugh my way out of anger :lol:

 

[goldiemaz]

Taking it out on non-living things is definitely better than hurting yourself or other people.

 

[Elizabeth]

Sometimes I want to hit walls with my fists or bang my head against them, I havent done it in a few years, if I ever feel like it now I take deep breaths it usually calms me down. :goodluck:

 

[charlie42]

They say that physical responses to anger only increases it or that it doesn't quite allow it to subside. For me, I know its playing softball and I play it very agressively... so, I can agree with the becoming physical portion is not good.

Anger being written out - I have difficulty in that because an ex of mine read my journal... I no longer have the trust in what I write will be confined just to my thoughts... others may find and read.

Exercise... sorry, I am just too lazy to get up and do jumping jacks...

Walks - maybe, but it also causes me to stew... to much time to rethink and think think think.

Talking with another - seems like this may be the only thing that helps me... but they need to be healthy themselves and removed from the situation so they don't internalize it themselves.

Each of us may have a different way of dealing with things. I think this forum helps me in that I can see what others are experiencing and what I may be at the time isn't as bad as I thought it was in the first place.

I'll pray for peace for all to receive and enjoy. God bless you all.

 

[Halo]

Anger being written out - I have difficulty in that because an ex of mine read my journal... I no longer have the trust in what I write will be confined just to my thoughts... others may find and read.

I had the same thing happen with me, having my journal read by someone else so I went and found one online that I downloaded onto my computer that is password protected and therefore no one but me has access. I feel much better and safer knowing that what I write is for my eyes only.

 

[adaptive1]

Nice to see an update on this, I am surprised how well exercise works actually, I am in this army boot camp type fitness class every morning and at first it was hard and I hated it and now I feel myself getting stronger and faster and I love it. We skipped rope this morning and I felt like a little kid. We run a mile to get warmed up. I feel a lot less stress and anxiety and anger these days and much happier. I know that might not be for everyone, but a good fast walk helps too, get one of those IPODS where you can listen to music and a device for tracking your speed too.

The other crazy thing I do is singing, I love singing in my car when I am on the highway, I actually just became part of a choir, its like it uses a different part of your brain or something and you have to be fully engaged and it takes your mind off of everything and produces those feel good feelings. Plus you are part of a group and right away you have all these people that you can socialize with.

Yes, I am totally doing some interesting things these days and I like it