How to improve my "impression of a human being"?

[David Baxter PhD]

Close your eyes. Take some slow breaths. Use a quiet place.

Clear your mind. Focus only on breathing slowly for at least 30-60 seconds, listening only to the sound of your breathing.

Ok. Ready?

Which way are you leaning? Home? Or France?

Don’t think about it. Just pick the first thing that pops into your awareness.

 

[gooblax]

I tried it (a couple of times because the first few I was distracted).
It 'said' it's the right time to take a risk, hunt for adventure and meaning. That doesn't have to be France, but it can be.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I tried it (a couple of times because the first few I was distracted).
It 'said' it's the right time to take a risk, hunt for adventure and meaning. That doesn't have to be France, but it can be.

Well, if it were me, I would take that as my answer.

 

[GaryQ]

Close your eyes. Take some slow breaths. Use a quiet place.

Clear your mind. Focus only on breathing slowly for at least 30-60 seconds, listening only to the sound of your breathing.

Ok. Ready?

Which way are you leaning? Home? Or France?

Don’t think about it. Just pick the first thing that pops into your awareness.

Cool, I like that!

 

[GaryQ]

I can't wait for the next season of "The Adventures of Gooblax" now

 

[gooblax]

It's inviting so much extra work and complication though. I prefer drama-free, and it's going to be anything but drama-free or predictable.

 

[GaryQ]

It's inviting so much extra work and complication though. I prefer drama-free, and it's going to be anything but drama-free or predictable.

Isn’t that the definition of life itself?

 

[gooblax]

Isn’t that the definition of life itself?

Sure, but there's no compelling need to intentionally seek out things that will enhance the drama and unpredictability unless they're specific things that one wants to experience.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

there's no compelling need to intentionally seek out things that will enhance the drama and unpredictability unless they're specific things that one wants to experience.

Totally agree.

 

[GaryQ]

I totally agree also but no matter what we choose to follow or seek somehow life (unpredictability and drama) always seems to happen anyway. Then there’s also Murphy’s Law. Then there’s gooblax “track record” of “events”

Take for example my personal experience moving here was technically supposed to be peaceful retreat, just about as safe as living in a monestary yet somehow unpredictability and drama (she) found me.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Not always...

We're not doomed. We do actually play a role in much of what comes to us. And often we make decisions about whether to allow those things to invade out lives and/or about how we let them affect our lives. In most cases, we can simply stop and take a new path or return to where the bad path started.

 

[GaryQ]

Actually we are all doomed: Life is the no. 1 cause of death

but it in all seriousness, I agree with you David on it’s how we let things affect our lives that is about the only thing we have control over. We can backtrack to the fork in the road and take a different path but there’s no road map to life so there’s no guarantee it will be any better. Steve used to say the difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that the pessimist knows all the facts. I guess it comes down to what we make with what life throws at us (ie: lemons, lemonade)

gooblax, you still have as many years to go to get to my age as you’ve lived so far and more to get to David’s age you will have many good and bad experiences and make many good and bad decisions. One thing I have learned is that there are positive and negative sides to any decision. It comes down to is; do the negative possibilities outweigh the positive ones or not? Life will be full of adventures no matter what you decide.

Guess it it all comes down to is the reward worth the risk for you? If yes then go for it while you’re young and can bounce back more easily than when you get older if things don’t work out well. If no then there’s nothing wrong with passing up on something and refusing an offer even if everyone else says you should. A missed opportunity doesn’t mean there won’t be more coming. You can analyze only to a certain point after that there’s no guarantee there will or won’t be a magpie waiting outside your door.

 

[gooblax]

I am all over the place with this decision. Although it reflects the options themselves - it's Schrodinger's project at the moment. Simultaneously people like the project and want it to continue, but won't put money on the table to keep it alive, yet.
Just when I think I'm almost finished deciding no, I feel like maybe it won't be so bad.
Part of the issue is the other guy in the team who wants to stay full time, who is going to be losing his old job anyway, and it's trying to drag me into his problem. When I feel like I'm being dragged, I have a tendency to cut and run, which is super tempting at the moment.

From a practical consideration, I had a training course booked for August in the US and was going to take 2wks holiday to visit my bf off the back of that whole I've there. The training would in no way relate to the new job, so that's entirely up in the air (pardon the upcoming pun) as are the flights to/from the US that I was using for the holiday. Good thing I haven't booked anything myself, or this would be more stressful than the disappointment of cancelled plans with the bf and his friends.
Do or die day today and Monday - last ditch effort for sponsors. Sometimes I'm hoping it dies just to take the uncertainty off the table. If we can't explain it in a way to get people excited to hop on board, then we're not the right team to do it and it should die. But if we can, then I'm still going to make my best effort.
In terms of speaking, tbh I think I'm one of the better public speakers in the team given that we have to do it in English which is not the 1st language of 3 of the team members. But my public speaking confidence tells on memorising the material near word-for-word. But we're changing and scrambling our pitch so I don't think I can do it.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

people like the project and want it to continue, but won't put money on the table to keep it alive, yet.

That would worry me. A definite red flag.

Just when I think I'm almost finished deciding no, I feel like maybe it won't be so bad.

But is "not so bad" what you're aiming for? That seems like a dubious personal goal to me.

Part of the issue is the other guy in the team who wants to stay full time, who is going to be losing his old job anyway, and it's trying to drag me into his problem. When I feel like I'm being dragged, I have a tendency to cut and run, which is super tempting at the moment.

That would be another red flag to me as well.

From a practical consideration, I had a training course booked for August in the US and was going to take 2wks holiday to visit my bf off the back of that whole I've there. The training would in no way relate to the new job, so that's entirely up in the air (pardon the upcoming pun) as are the flights to/from the US that I was using for the holiday. Good thing I haven't booked anything myself, or this would be more stressful than the disappointment of cancelled plans with the bf and his friends.

That may or may not be a basis to make your decision but it is one more thing to add to the "No" column.

Do or die day today and Monday - last ditch effort for sponsors. Sometimes I'm hoping it dies just to take the uncertainty off the table. If we can't explain it in a way to get people excited to hop on board, then we're not the right team to do it and it should die. But if we can, then I'm still going to make my best effort.

Not sure I understand this part. Do you mean if the funding comes through you will definitely stay on?

 

[gooblax]

Agreed about some of the red flags.

Not sure I understand this part. Do you mean if the funding comes through you will definitely stay on?

No, I mean for the next 2 working days while things are undecided, I won't mentally check out of trying to get the project to have a green light (regardless of my position on continuing further).

 

[gooblax]

Also the autocorrect on this is a mess for the previous post. That's what I get for posting while distracted by seeing a cool aircraft.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

If it turns out it was actually a UFO, you have to stay.

 

[gooblax]

Haha nope, I identified it whist it was on the tarmac, so neither unidentified nor flying.

 

[GaryQ]

As David pointed out there are a few red flags. The one that would bother me the most is the teammate more focused on his personal agenda. My dry cut personality would say I’m out not interested in spending and investing my time on a team where personal agendas take precedence over the team and the projects goal. But where we draw the line is different for all of us. I just always had harder time dealing with people than work in a work environment.

i like your attitude gooblax regarding giving it your all even if you don’t continue. That way you can leave with your head high knowing that you gave it your best to make it succeed. Hope you always keep this great attitude!

I guess the Decision to go back home might be taken for you if the project doesn’t get funding.
Cant believe it’s already been 3 months.

curousity: if by chance it continues and you stay on:
1 - do you get to go home for a bit?
2 - would you lose out on your training and vacation time with your BF?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

As David pointed out there are a few red flags. The one that would bother me the most is the teammate more focused on his personal agenda. My dry cut personality would say I’m out not interested in spending and investing my time on a team where personal agendas take precedence over the team and the projects goal.

I agree.