Humor - NOS 2

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[David Baxter PhD]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He selected an engineer, a mathematician, a physicist, a logician, a social worker, a lawyer, a trader and an accountant to interview and decided to select the individual that could answer the question “How much is 2+2?”

• The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, “It lies between 3.98 and 4.02″.
• The mathematician said, “In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof.”
• The physicist declared, “It’s in the magnitude of 1×101.”
• The logician paused for a long while and then said, “This problem is solvable.”
• The social worker said, “I don’t know the answer, but I am glad that we discussed this important question.”
• The lawyer stated, “In the case of the Crown vs. Svenson, 2+2 was declared to be 4.”
• The trader asked, “Are you buying or selling?”

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled down the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “What would you like it to be?”

 

[Daniel E.]

Comedy — Karen Rontowski

www.karenrontowski.com

She is fascinated with the “afterlife” and is convinced she will someday have a near death experience because, “I never finish anything.”

She explains, “Sometimes a ghost will just do the same thing over and over in life. That's why I want to move into a house that is haunted by a maid."

 

[David Baxter PhD]

^^^ I've watched videos by her on YouTube. She's hilarious.

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

"Thinking u understand clinical depression b/c u experienced situational sadness is like thinking u know Italy b/c u went to the Olive Garden."

~ Paul Gilmartin

 

[Daniel E.]

Pour Decisions

Mistaking the $18 wine for the $2,000 Rothschild, the first manager poured the cheap wine for the businessmen. According to the manager, the businessman hosting the others considered himself a wine connoisseur, and showing off, tasted the cheap wine before bursting into raptures about its purity.

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]