I died... Now what?

[Atlantean]

I completed suicide on April 4. I was in a state of cardiac and respiratory arrest for 45 minutes. I have amnesia of the day of the incident through around the fourth day in recovery from being intubated and kept in the ICU on a ventilator. My body temperature was 94 for over 12 hours, despite the technology they used to try to raise my temperature (i.e. bear blanket, warm saline drip).

I feel really different now. Its quite odd for me. I can't wrap my head around what happened and I cannot find a local support group for this type of thing. I would love to start my own, but I am spread a bit thin these days and I dont think I should put myself in a position for others to rely on me, when I can barely manage all my current responsibilities.

I feel a lot calmer. My Anxiety and insomnia went away for the first few days, but now I am scared to sleep because I am scared that since my heart stopped once, it may do it again. Parts of me know this is illogical, the rest of me begs to differ. I do have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, and my Psychiatrist in around 12 days. I am doing everything I can to figure things out and get what I need, but I guess what I really want to know is there anyone out there who has died and come back?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I do have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, and my Psychiatrist in around 12 days.

What is a "PCP"?

 

[Atlantean]

Sorry Dr. Baxter, et al. PCP= Primary Care Provider. My normal general practiioner physician.

Also, my heart is fine and he is more concerned with the psychiatric/psychological factors regarding my death that any physical things that seem to be bugging me. I also begin weekly therapy adjunct to my normal psychiatrist next week.

I am feeling much better, overall. I still feel very different but I am not on any medication right now except for my seizures, and I am not really having any adverse effects. I am trying to not get to carried away with any one particular thing so that I can keep everything balanced.

Thank You!.

-Starr

 

[Cat Dancer]

Is there any way you could see your Psychiatrist sooner?

 

[Atlantean]

Hi, Cat Dancer. Long time, no see. Hope all is well.

I cannot see him any sooner, he is booked solid. I will be okay waiting the week to see a counselor in the interim. I was in quite the space when I posted here and since finding out my heart was okay and I am okay, I feel much less tense about it. It is still a huge deal, nonetheless and something that I know will impact on me for the rest of my life, but I am okay waiting the week to really talk about it.



-Starr

 

[Retired]

Starr,

One can only imagine the profound effect this experience may have had on you. I hope you will use our resources and others to help ease your pain as well as your frustration with finding adequate support.

You may wish to have a look at the IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies) website that appears to contain information as well as support material for people who have had a near death experience (NDE).

Attaches is a support brochure from IANDS I thought you might find informative on seeking out the support you might need..

Suport groups are listed HERE

 

[Atlantean]

Steve,

Thank you. I am going to the website, now. I appreciate your help and I am sure the site will be very helpful.

-Starr