Therapist of 11 Yrs Has Died

[pocono]

Well, have not posted here in more than 6-7 years I think. Severe depression and multiple hospitalizations finally got under control. I owe much to a kind and caring therapist who stuck by me through thick and thin and saw me through many crisis, even our own, sometimes turbulent, relationship.

And now after seeing him for 11 year, he is gone. Passed away quite quickly from a progressive lung disease. I am bereft. Overcome with grief. And freighted to my core that the bad times will revisit me.

Advice and comfort sought.

Pocono

 

[Retired]

Condolences for your loss, Pocono. I know the close relationship we can develop with our therapist, who becomes an integral part of our lives for years, in many cases.

A trusted confidant, an non judgemental advisor and a friend.

Many of us have shared your grief and hope, that this person's influence on you will guide you in the future. This would be a lasting tribute to his memory.

How are you doing during this difficult time? Do you have family and friends to whom you can reach out for support?

 

[forgetmenot]

I too am sorry for your loss. hope also that you can find support with family or community to help you through your grief.
Please keep talking to us here as well ok so we can help you as well hugs

 

[GDPR]

I am sorry for your loss too.

That is one of my fears,and something I have discussed with my therapist a few times already.

 

[PrincessX]

So sorry for your loss, Pocono. In your case, grief is inevitable, normal reaction to his death.
As Steve said, I hope you continue to apply the skills you learned in therapy and let this person's advice/knowledge guide you.
Regarding your fear that the bad times will revisit you, keep in mind that psychotherapy is a transferrable skill. Although, no one can replace the personal presence of the deceased, others practice this skill and might be able to
help you a lot, if you happen to be in crisis. This is why professional therapists keep written documentation, so that another professional can assist their clients, in case of unexpected events.
Might be helpful for you to book a grief session with another therapist, in order to receive help processing this event and guidance for your future treatment.
I am sure, the last thing your therapist would have wished for, is to interrupt your treatment/progress by his unexpected death.

 

[MHealthJo]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Grief will occur, and it will be important to be gentle with yourself, letting yourself go through the grief in your own way and at your own pace.

As has been mentioned, someone that can receive your history is likely to be valuable in supporting you in this time, and also continuing to be a resource for you.

Although of course any relationship and connection cannot be replaced, the qualities you found in your therapist can be found in another practitioner and other people, and in time you can develop a valuable supportive therapy relationship again.

I have found the 'Grief' topic guided meditation at Meditation Oasis Podcast (a free resource online) to be very valuable in feeling supported during the difficulty of grieving and loss.

Please continue talking to us here also any time that you would like to or with other questions.

 

[forgetmenot]

Just letting you know i am thinking about you and hope that you are ok so hard grief is but let the tears come ok and reach out please to someone anyone to help you

 

[pocono]

Thank you forgetmenot.

---------- Post Merged at 07:55 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:44 AM ----------

Steve. I replied to this but I don't see my reply posted. Did I do something wrong?

 

[Retired]

I replied to this but I don't see my reply posted. Did I do something wrong?

That can be very frustrating indeed. It has happened to me too after writing a lengthy reply, and discovering it did not get posted.

What usually happens is after writing the reply, if you do another action such as previewing the post, and inadvertently closing your browser window before saving the reply, it does not get posted.

For your future information, there's good news.

David has installed a feature on Psychlinks that automatically saves your reply to a Forum buffer as you type. You will notice a small notification flashing in yellow at the bottom right of the message editor saying "Auto Saved".

If you discover you have lost a post by accidentally leaving the reply un-posted, go back to the thread, and hit the "Reply" button, to re-start a new reply.

At the bottom left of the message editor you will see a button to "Restore Auto-Saved Content" as shown:

 

[pocono]

Steve, thank you for your condolences. I have a very supportive husband and sister-in-law (best friend). They are pulling in tight around me, and I am grateful for them.

My therapist, in is dying moments, made arrangements for me to see a colleague of his as a therapist. She and I met and we liked each other. However, she does not feel like she is right for me since she is in her mid-seventies, travels a lot, and is not available for phone check-ins like I had with my old therapist.

I am distraught about this. I feel like she would be a link to him and I don't have the energy to start over. With her it only partly feels like starting over since she knew him.


Thank you LIT

Of course PrincessX you are right that he would not want me to interrupt my progress due to his death. It is just soooo hard to imagine continuing without him!


MHealthJo

I tried the Grief guided meditation you mentioned. It was very comforting. Thank you.