I don't know if therapy is for me anymore

[kaht]

At this point, I think I'm just questioning if there's anything more for me to gain in therapy or if it's time to throw in the towel. I think that's my biggest dilemma.

Have you achieved the goals you set for yourself when you started out in therapy BG? Are you where you want to be emotionally and cognitively? I guess this break from your therapist will give you some time to figure that out.

I believe there's always work we can do on ourselves. Whether you choose to continue your personal growth through therapy is up to you in the end. I found a year's break at one point was what I needed; it felt stale and I wasn't focused on the job at hand. Once I'd processed and integrated what we had worked on, I felt ready to go back and tackle other issues.

If you do decide to continue with therapy, I would seriously consider getting that referral that comfortzone suggested. It doesn't sound like a healthy therapy relationship. A therapist should be non-judgemental, objective, even detached to a point and very clearly JUST a therapist.

 

[Banned]

So - just an update. I didn't go to my appointment yesterday, but instead sent him a very long email detailing where I'm at, where I want to go, and why I was so darn mad at him.

I saw him today briefly to drop off the dog and his Christmas presents; he said he'd respond to my email in the next day or two because I was pretty defensive. So I guess I'll wait and see what he says. For him - probably no big deal. I apologized for being such a flake and being high maintenance and thanked him for putting up with me. I'm truly afraid he'll drop me because I'm too much work. He keeps assuring me he won't, but I have trouble trusting that aspect. Odd.

So I don't know what'll happen in January - I asked if I should stay at twice a week or drop to once. It's kind of up in the air right now, but at least I'm considering staying with it because it really is helping. Sometimes my irrational / insecure side takes over though.

As a couple of you mentioned - finding another therapist is not, in my mind, an option. He's brought me too far; it took me too long to build the trust (and I knew him before, don't forget), and I would never in a million years be willing to start again with someone else. What I will consider, however, is stronger boundaries between us.