After 6.5 years of emotional turmoil, I have decided to end my relationship with my partner.
The main reason is that he held another relationship behind my back. When asked to remove that person from his life, he said no. In the week that has transpired since the discovery of the affair, I have found other sexual transgressions on his part, he will not go to counselling (with me or on his own), and everything that happened in our relationship is all my fault, and he has no blame to share.
I have started going to a counselor. I had my first visit on Tuesday. I am not sure if I like him or not. He seems a little too uptight for me. I think I am going to have to ask for a gay counselor, or a woman.
I am moving on with my life because I have made great personal strides in the last 6 months. I am breaking out of my self-imposed exile. I have a great job that I love going to. I am taking on a second job for added expenses. I just bought a new (used) Jeep. I am learning how to live again. I am dealing with some very powerful childhood demons and continuing my fight for sobriety. I am becoming a fully functional adult. (YAY ME!!)
As much as I want him in my life, and as much as I love him, neither of those reasons, I feel, would be justified if I found out on a later date that he slept around behind my back again. I know that it is going to happen. He will get drunk, and look at that guy (or another), and forget all about me waiting at home for his return. I found out that they have been flirting with each other for the past week, even though they both promised me that nothing like that was going to happen again.
There has been no finalized commitment to making this work on his part. He won't be accountable for the things that he has done. (I went so far as to tell him about this site, and directed him to go here and read some things that I thought made perfect sense for us. ) Still, I got nothing.
Sadly to say, I must close this chapter in my life for the protection of myself. It will be a rough road to living alone for a while. I think it will be good for me to discover what I can do on my own, for myself. I think I am looking forward to the journey.
The main reason is that he held another relationship behind my back. When asked to remove that person from his life, he said no. In the week that has transpired since the discovery of the affair, I have found other sexual transgressions on his part, he will not go to counselling (with me or on his own), and everything that happened in our relationship is all my fault, and he has no blame to share.
I have started going to a counselor. I had my first visit on Tuesday. I am not sure if I like him or not. He seems a little too uptight for me. I think I am going to have to ask for a gay counselor, or a woman.
I am moving on with my life because I have made great personal strides in the last 6 months. I am breaking out of my self-imposed exile. I have a great job that I love going to. I am taking on a second job for added expenses. I just bought a new (used) Jeep. I am learning how to live again. I am dealing with some very powerful childhood demons and continuing my fight for sobriety. I am becoming a fully functional adult. (YAY ME!!)
As much as I want him in my life, and as much as I love him, neither of those reasons, I feel, would be justified if I found out on a later date that he slept around behind my back again. I know that it is going to happen. He will get drunk, and look at that guy (or another), and forget all about me waiting at home for his return. I found out that they have been flirting with each other for the past week, even though they both promised me that nothing like that was going to happen again.
There has been no finalized commitment to making this work on his part. He won't be accountable for the things that he has done. (I went so far as to tell him about this site, and directed him to go here and read some things that I thought made perfect sense for us. ) Still, I got nothing.
Sadly to say, I must close this chapter in my life for the protection of myself. It will be a rough road to living alone for a while. I think it will be good for me to discover what I can do on my own, for myself. I think I am looking forward to the journey.
