I hate being embarassed over nothing

[moonriver]

Gosh, I feel like I have been so happy with how well I am doing then it takes almost nothing for me to feel like I am back to square one. I actually conqured my shyness enough that I have been going to a gym class. The gym instructor was showing us a new circut and I couldnt get any of it, she was correcting me on everything and I could tell she was getting frustrated with me, then I wore my runners from outside into the class, I wasnt really thinking and she chewed me out in front of everyone saying that I wasnt the one that had to clean the floor. I was so embarassed I just got up and left the class when she wasnt looking. I don't even want to go back. I am so embarassed, how come I am so stupid and everyone else can understand a simple move that requires coordination and I cant. I shouldnt have stormed out either but I was ready to cry because I was so embarassed.

I shouldn't have been so high on all the progress I have made lately, obviously I still care very much about what people think and I shouldn't. I feel so stupid and I hate that I cant understand things.

I know this is a tiny minor event, I just feel like such a moron because I cant grasp simple things and then I feel humiliated. I dont ever want to go back to that gym class. Now I am a quitter too. Thanks for letting me vent, I have just been knocked down a peg I guess.

 

[Retired]

she was correcting me on everything and I could tell she was getting frustrated with me, then I wore my runners from outside into the class, I wasnt really thinking and she chewed me out in front of everyone saying

You cannot beat yourself up because of an impatient, intolerant and rude gym teacher. If this person is any kind of teacher, she must be able to tolerate a student who may not get the new material right off. Furthermore, it's plain impolite to reprimand someone openly in front of their peers.

Do you have an appeal proces where you can have a conversation with that teacher to explain your displeasure, or perhaps speak to the teacher's superior?

 

[moonriver]

Thanks Steve. I definitely do not feel assertive enough to talk to the teacher or complain about her. I guess the best thing would be would be to let it go and I don't think I am going to go back to that class. I guess it's ok to be a quitter if you don't really enjoy something. But I kind of did enjoy it for awhile anyway.

I shouldn't have worn my shoes from outside and that I can do something about htat but I wish I was more coordinated. I hate feeling like an idiot over some things, I don't know why I can't follow instructions or grasp certain things. I can understand why people get frustrated with me because no matter how many times they show me things I still don't get it. I want to be like other people but when I see things visually I just can't seem to repeat them. It just takes the enjoyment out of it for me because I know that I am not going to understand and I feel this pressure build in me. Honestly I feel the teacher is justified in her frustration, every one else seems coordinated and I am just not.

Maybe the answer is to try other kinds of activities that don't make me feel like a fool, I just don't know what they are.

Thank you for the reply.

 

[bluebell]

I believe there are the one thing that make you feel more than existance,the one which can give you enjoyment and reinforce your confidence .Accept all parts of your self .some just appear sort of not perfect .But you know what you want and don't be blind in front of some dailylife failure .The only thing you could control is that keep telling yourself you are unique and you are not as same as anyone and no one is as same as you .Live your life .If you feel pressure when you come across things you like ,tell yourself "what 's that ?I want to know about it.I'm sure that's what I deserve.I want it ! I wanna be ....!" Meanwhile do it .You will get a big different achievement without useless pressure for nothing .

It just takes the enjoyment out of it for me because I know that I am not going to understand and I feel this pressure build in me.
Maybe the answer is to try other kinds of activities that don't make me feel like a fool, I just don't know what they are.

 

[moonriver]

Thank you for the reminder. I like that, yes I should try and accept myself and I guess I just wasnt approaching it with the right attitude, thank you for making me see that.

 

[ladylore]

You have accomplished a great deal moonriver and I hope you are very proud of that. I as told the other day the way to teach someone is to point out when a person is doing something right so they know what to do - as in "do more of that". Builds a person's spirit and confidence up.

 

[lustorlove]

We are each UNIQUE in our own way, if everyone was the same we would not be able to tell each other apart and progress would be limited to one direction.

 

[Into The Light]

I want to be like other people but when I see things visually I just can't seem to repeat them.

this reminds me of learning styles that people have. i can't remember all the examples but basically some people can learn things best when it's visual, but for others it works better if they hear about the thing they are learning, others again need to just do it to learn.

maybe visual learning just doesn't work for you, but that doesn't mean you couldn't learn in a different manner. maybe something to look into

the other thing i wanted to say is it isn't a small thing that you shouldn't be upset over. it would be nice if you could shrug it off but it was hurtful what happened. this is exactly the kind of thing that would have me upset too. it was very harsh of her to treat you that way and not the right way to go about it. humiliating a student in front of the class is never acceptable.

 

[moonriver]

Thank you so much you guys, I am sorry for the slip, I guess some of us are all works in progress :dimples:

I really like the point about the learning styles, I think you make a really good point. I also think I am going to pursue some things that make me feel more confident, not that I don't want to take on challenges but I think I would prefer to challenge myself in areas that are my strengths instead of working on things that I probably dont have much chance of getting better at and if I did I am not sure it is that important to me that I do get better at them.

But if I could be one person rolled into one I would wish for the kindness and patience of Halo, LadyLore and Into the Light, the smarts of Daniel and the wisdom of Dr Baxter And the insight of Lalleith and many others on this forum, there are just too many of you to mention!! And of course the good looks of all of you combined...smile.

Seriously, thanks again all of you, I want to give back more than I get from here, and I am trying, thank you for your patience with me.

 

[ladylore]

:red: Thank you for the kind words Moonriver.:hug:

 

[rebecca8]

Hey moonriver, sorry I disappeared for awhile. Embarrassed about my last post. Thanks for your reply on it if you remember.
I just wanted to share with you that I had a similar experience where a teacher chewed me out in front of the class. I felt like a puppy trying to be good, and then getting scolded, and not understanding what I did wrong. I never went back to the class. I felt that she didn't possess the characteristics necessary to be a good teacher on that subject, and I wouldn't learn anything from her. Your instructor doesn't seem to be very good at what she does. If you liked going to the gym, you could choose another one, or maybe even another instructor. That way you wouldn't feel like you were quitting.
You know, sometimes, when I'm trying to learn from someone, I get nervous and self-conscious. So, instead of paying attention to the instruction, I'm worrying about what people might be thinking about me. I used to be in a ballet class, and when the teacher was showing us how to do something, I would have to do it a few times to get it, because I'd be thinking how I must look (especially difficult in a place where much focus is placed on the body, and which is similar to your situation) She always used to tell me I was a good dancer, but I think too much, and that's why things didn't flow that easily for me. I have to commend you for trying something that involves a focus on your body and movement. It's actually not that easy, so you should give yourself a pat on the back. Yeah, I know that sounds a little cheesy, but I really mean it, good for you moonriver.

 

[moonriver]

Thanks a lot Rebecca, glad to see you back on the forum, I know you struggle with shyness too and feeling embarassed over things too but I can tell you are working really hard at it and so am I. Its nice that we don't have to worry about being judged on this forum, everyone is so supportive and helpful.

 

[lallieth]

Rebecca

Don't beat yourself up,you aren't perfect and no one expects you to be...We often put huge expectations on ourselves that we simply cannot achieve and feel useless when we think we have failed...when in fact,we haven't failed but are still learning and perhaps it may take longer for some,so be it

Last week in step class I wanted my feet to do one thing and they decided to do another and I tripped hard over the step..I felt dumb for about one second,but got back up on the step and tried again.

Go back to the class with your head held high.Do your best and if you are having problems,perhaps you can ask the instructor to spend some one on one teaching you the steps.