I needed it then; do I need it now?

[kashley]

Hey all -

Just a quick background (very surface-level...but it may offer a little bit of insight):

I'm a 20 year old sophomore in college, but my parents divorced when I was 15 - my dad moved out and up to Cleveland (I live in Charlotte), and I suddenly realized that I missed him. I spent the next year or so after that in what I now realize was depression. I was crying a ton, and I missed my dad like crazy. I wanted to move up there with him a lot, because my mom and I were having problems. About 3 years ago, I was put on Wellbutrin for depression, and it has helped a ton, though I occasionally have a few "down" days.

I later found out that my dad had had several affairs, and my mother knew about them, but I didn't. So, I now know that that's what most likely lead to the problems I had with my mom at the time. We have always been very close, but during our animosity throughout that first year or so, we drifted apart. Even though, now, we don't have any problems at all, and we are fairly close again, I never really talk to her about my feelings. I haven't talked to her about what I was feeling back 5 years ago, and I haven't really talked to her much about my feelings about anything else since then.

Now in college, I have access to the counseling center on campus, which is free. On a whim (and during one of my "down" periods), I visited for an initial appointment with someone so they could get a little info and then refer me to another therapist. I spoke more about myself in that one session than I ever have to anyone else.

I'm blabbing. To lay out my worries: Since I've come to terms with everything that has happened in the past, I'm worried that my therapist will think I'm being over-dramatic and bringing up things that don't cause too much of a problem for me anymore. I never talk about my feelings to anyone, really, but keeping to myself doesn't bother me anymore...most of the time. Sometimes I do wish I could just talk to someone without feeling embarrassed about how they'll think of me or that I'm complaining or anything like that. Because, that's how I feel when I talk to anyone in my life.

But...I just feel like my therapist will think I'm dwelling too much on things that don't really have much of an affect on me anymore. There are so many people who have larger things that they are dealing with that truly warrant the attention of therapist, and here I am going to visit about a couple lingering feelings from something that occurred 5 years ago.

Am I being ridiculous in going to a therapist?

 

[Daniel E.]

Am I being ridiculous in going to a therapist?

No. Besides, given your history of depression, it would at least be a preventative measure. Early adulthood can be a stressful adjustment period even when everything is coming up roses.

There are so many people who have larger things that they are dealing with that truly warrant the attention of therapist

That would just mean that more people should see a therapist, not less. Therapy is not just about alleviating distress but making one happier, e.g. positive psychology.

 

[Andy]

Welcome Kashley!

I think it is great that you want to go see a therapist. Everyone has problems obviously but some people react to the same problems in completely different ways. This is something that has bothered you and something you can't get past, so it is a problem to you. Someone else may be devastated over something that you would think is no big deal.
But either problems are equally comparable. Do you know what I mean?

Also I think that if you go to a therapist and figure out these issues now, it will be less on your shoulders in the future. Lets face it, life will throw more at you but if you take care of yourself now, then you will have the tools later to better handle things.

I hope some of this made sense. :support:

 

[kashley]

Someone else may be devastated over something that you would think is no big deal.
But either problems are equally comparable.

I didn't necessarily think of it that way...but I definitely realize the point you're making. Thank you both for your input. I really, really appreciate it. My appointment isn't until Monday, so I knew that if I wasn't placated in some way, I'd have a hole in my stomach by Monday morning!

 

[Fiver]

First of all, welcome to you, kashley.

But I don't feel that you're simply being placated by these responses. They are valid, and so are your needs and feelings. Take the words you've received at their full value. I'm glad you found us.

 

[kashley]

Thank you - I didn't mean to imply that I don't value everyone's words, because I do. Immensely so! So, I'm sorry if that's how it came across.

I am very glad I found this site and this forum. Reading through the responses given here and on other threads has helped me in my guilt (or whatever it is that I'm feeling) when it comes to therapy. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get past it and focus on some of the things that tend to weigh me down.

 

[Into The Light]

like my therapist tells me, if i bring something up, it's important, or else i wouldn't have mentioned it. i struggle too sometimes with the "validity" of bringing up a certain subject, but if it's something that's on your mind a lot and doesn't seem to resolve itself, it's unresolved and it's ok to get some help with it.

i fully believe in therapy and that everyone (regardless of whether they are suffering from a mental health issue or not) can benefit from it. i think the world would be a much better place if everyone had access to and went for therapy.

golden rule: if it's bothering you, and talking to friends and family doesn't make the issue go away, or trying to work it out for yourself doesn't make it go away, then yes, it's ok bring it up in therapy anything is ok to bring up.

 

[Always Changing]

Hi Kashley and welcome to psychlinks.

Just a quick word to let you know that I faced a similar problem just recently, I was thinking that I was taking the place of maybe someone who needed therapy more than I did. I brought this up with my therapist and she let me know very clearly that this was my time and that my issues were and are just as valid and important as the next persons. If this starts to become an issue with you in future do bring it up with your therapist so that it can be dealt with quickly.

Take care

 

[kashley]

Thanks, Always Changing -

I will definitely keep that in mind when I start going. It's good to know (although not good at the same time!) that someone has felt similar to how I feel.