I needed it?

[Lonewolf]

Maybe?? It's all getting too much for me!! Maybe I should never have written the stuff on these forums, the things that I have! It gets far too complicated to know what the right thing to do!! When I started reaching out to different forums, I thought (very selfishly) that I could get a few things off my chest and straightened out in my mind!! I didn't think it could cause so many problems and bring up so many issues for other people and myself!! Relationships have never been a strong point for me, but without them I wouldn't want to exist!! I can't find a happy balance!!
I am so worried about talking to people now, is it worth keep trying!!
I stayed quiet for so many years and that was very, very painful and self distructive, but it was only me being affected!! Now i seem to be causing problems for other people and that was the last thing i ever wanted to do!!! It takes a lot of courage to speak out, but sometimes i think maybe it takes more to keep your mouth well and truely shut!!! Cope with it as best you can, it may be very destressing, but its not as complicated!
I am truely sorry if I have ever caused distress to anybody, I really didn't mean too!!
I know it hurts!!

 

[Retired]

There has been nothing to my recollection that you posted here that was inappropriate; any of the suggestions made to you in this discussion were just general observations and comments.....certainly not intended as any kind of criticism of what you have written.

Can you see that you may be very sensitive to conversational remarks that people make, perhaps misinterpreting that these remarks somehow are critical of you, when in fact they are just people just talking.

Our Forum is open and receptive, willing to help and to be supportive....you don't have to worry about any kind of rebuke or personal attack.

Our moderators ensure Psychlinks to be a safe environment.

 

[MHealthJo]

Hun what happened on the other forum is not at all the big deal that you are thinking it is. All it is is enforcing the rules, thinking about what's best in the longer term, keeping the content what it should be, and ensuring that all members try to remember to keep the rules in mind.

Most forums remove the wrong content quite quickly so that very few people see it. And even if a few did, they may not be feeling vulnerable right now, and will remember that humans make mistakes and learn from them. And anyone who knows what happened will now feel safer and more positive there, knowing their moderators there strive to keep the content what it should be.

And when you return they will respect you knowing that you intend to keep trying, to keep the boundaries in mind as best you can, and everyone knows that boundaries are healthy things and learning about healthy boundaries and having them set for us is healthy and helps us to grow. Seeing it happen sometimes like what occurred on the other forum is healthy for people too.

Always remember that there are helplines and hotlines and typing chatlines too that are private, and those can be places where you can say absolutely anything. x

 

[Lonewolf]

I guess I am!! Thanks for your response! Just feel like everyone is getting at me at the moment, not only on the forums, but in my life generally!!! I'm finding it all very painful!!
Thankyou for being here!

 

[Harebells]

I don't really have anything to add to what others have said lonewolf, just wanted to say I'm really sorry that happened, that you were cut off from support when you needed it most, I can understand that's so upsetting - I would have reacted the same way I'm sure. I hope it goes well when you return to that forum and I hope you keep coming here and feel safe to say what you're feeling xxx

 

[Mari]

I guess the world is very lucky that there is one of me!!!

I quoted you but took left out one word to change it to an inspirational message. Really, I think that is true for you and for every single person who is striving to be better. Selfishly, I also wanted to write that for myself because I am struggling very much this month. My therapist is on sick leave and I have been doing the best I can on my own but have now made an appointment with my GP. Also, thank-you for being here and for sharing and for not giving up.

 

[MHealthJo]

It is lovely the sentence you made Mari. (I'm sorry you are in such a difficult spot right now.)

I think we should often write down sentences we've got in our heads, and remove or change a word or two!!

Maybe we can remember that when we feel terrible, we usually aren't seeing a totally balanced version of reality.... If we change some words, it balances things around a bit to the other view which we cannot see yet.

That is what CBT and DBT are partly about Lonewolf, and they can help a lot to see reality clearer and be more fair to ourselves. So keep checking out CBT and DBT book recommendations at Amazon, or the resources of that kind here.