I tried to commit suicide....now what...

[kelsischanging]

Two weeks ago from tomorrow <details removed> I tried to kill myself...I was in the ICU for five days and then on the psych ward for 7 days...I was forced to drop out of school for the semester and now I'm at home and it's like now what do I do...I'm starting an intensive outpatient program at a local mental health hospital tomorrow but that's only some of my time...my mom is watching me like a hawk and I just don't know what to do...I feel trapped and alone....like no one understands...I just don't know what to do from here...any advice would be appreciated...thanks

 

[braveheart]

I can only imagine how hard that must be for you. I would say, hold on in there, because as you go through the outpatient programme, you will likely start to recover and recuperate from your trauma, and slowly start to find some direction.
Have you thought about journalling about your experience, written and/or through art?

 

[Superiority Tails]

I know what you're feeling. My #1 BFF stopped me from <attempting suicide>. I'm over killing myself but I can't help but to be afraid of things I do or of other people. It's like I can't even trust myself half the time. I trust my friends a lot more then I can trust myself. It's been 6 months since then and I'm still fighting old and new fears. Good Luck. :hug: I hope everything goes okay.

 

[Halo]

Kels,

I am truly sorry to hear about what happened but am glad that you are okay. I know that you are starting an intensive program at the local hospital and I wonder how much time is it really going to take up during your day or week. If it is intensive then to me it sounds like it could be a lot of work which is good so that it will keep you busy but also help you deal with the issues that are causing you pain.

As for your mom watching you like a hawk....I think that is probably normal given the circumstances. I know my mom and dad did the same when I was released from the hospital and even now almost 11 years later, if I spend too much time alone and isolating, they still check in on me....that is just my parents being overly concerned as usual. I am sure over time your mom will ease up a bit but the concern will probably be there for a while and just remember that she is only doing it because she cares (as frustrating as it may seem to you).

Please take care Kels and I hope that you begin a journey of healing.
Lots of hugs to you :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Daniel E.]

I was in the ICU for five days...

The "reality check" I had was seeing the distraught reaction on my mother's face after my parents picked me up from the "scene of the crime." After that, I never attempted suicide though I have been close to doing so.

I just don't know what to do from here...

There's always exercise. (If you are bored and you already know your major, there's probably a ton of reading you can do.) Though you have withdrawn from the semester, you can still probably participate in college clubs and social events.

 

[Superiority Tails]

You can start a hobby. It can help you out a lot. I wish you luck. I'm a Photoshop expert and I have a dream to become an animator. www.gimp.org I have a lot of fun playing with it and making stuff for my friends. They think I'm really good at it too.

 

[ThatLady]

I'm so sorry to hear of what you went through, kels, but it's very good to know you're at home and recovering. You'll start youor outpatient program tomorrow. That will be a good time to discuss some of the questions you have about what to do, how to fill your time, and how you can be proactive in your own treatment.

Your mother is watching you closely because she cares. If you were my daughter, I'd be doing the same thing - not to take away your freedom, but to make sure you were doing okay and didn't need me to be with you. Your mom is doing what she's doing out of love. :hug:

 

[Daniel E.]

Regarding hobbies as mentioned earlier:

Get involved in life: Finding a hobby or enjoying a favorite pastime—such as listening to music, watching your favorite movie, or collecting things—is a great way to help you cope when things get tough. Hobbies or activities that involve interacting with others are an especially good idea. Whatever your interests may be, make sure you have access to the things you enjoy. That way, if your negative thoughts come back, you can turn to something that brings you comfort
and enjoyment.

Remember—there are reasons to live and make things better. You can survive, and even thrive, despite the way you feel at
times. Recovery is likely.

excerpted from After an Attempt—A Guide for Taking Care of Yourself After Your Treatment in the Emergency Department

 

[Into The Light]

i am sorry for what you have been through and are still going through. my thoughts are with you, kelsey.:hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Kelsey, I really am sorry for your situation and wish you the best on moving forward in your outpatient treatment. With regard to your mom, I know I would likely be doing the same thing - it's because she loves you and is scared of losing you. Please take care and we will all be thinking of you.:hug:

TG

 

[kelsischanging]

I just want to thank everyone for their kind and supportive words...I started in an adult day program today and will be in that for about 7-10 days then it will be back to outpatient therapy once or twice a week...anyway thanks again to everyone who responded!

 

[Halo]

Kels,

I am glad to hear that you have started the day program and hopefully between that and the outpatient therapy you will begin your road to healing.

Take care and be gentle with yourself
:hug: :hug:

 

[foghlaim]

kels, just want to say you are in my thoughts ok.

((hugs))

 

[braveheart]

I hope it helps. :hug: