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lallieth

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How can you possibly be a good parent?
Do you love your child? do you hug,kiss,cuddle,her and tell her you love her? do you provide shelter and food,boundries,rules & limitations to keep her safe?

Do you show concern over her wellbeing and kiss her tears away,does your heart ache when she is in distress? Do you share a quiet giggle,a sweet kiss and mommy/daughter whispers?

Is she happy and healthy? does she make you proud to be called Mommy?
 
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I do those things, but I still think I'm too unstable to be a parent anymore.

She seems happy and healthy, but how can you really know for sure?
 

lallieth

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I do those things, but I still think I'm too unstable to be a parent anymore.

She seems happy and healthy, but how can you really know for sure?
If you do all those things and she is happy and healthy,then you are a good parent.

Your little girl would be the first person to show you that you are having problems parenting.She will show it in her behaviour,eating/sleeping habits,interactions with other people and with you.


I raised three boys going through an abusive marriage and I wondered as well if I was being a good parent..as kids,they seemed perfectly normal to me,happy and healthy.I realize now that they are older and on their own,that I must have done something right,because they are good responsible adults and caring human beings.

I knew that despite all the problems that I was going through,that I needed to be there to raise these children,that they needed their mom's love and guidance and that kept me going.

Your little girl needs you as well,she needs your love,your time and your guidance.
 
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I guess that's my biggest goal: to be a decent parent. I'd like to be the perfect parent, but I know that's unrealistic. I just want to be there for her.

It sounds like you have great kids. I guess it takes time and patience and loving and understanding. Sometimes I wonder how I can have those qualities since I didn't have them growing up.
 

ladylore

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I guess that's my biggest goal: to be a decent parent. I'd like to be the perfect parent, but I know that's unrealistic. I just want to be there for her.

I guess it takes time and patience and loving and understanding. Sometimes I wonder how I can have those qualities since I didn't have them growing up.

Since I have know you Janet it sounds to me that you do have those qualities of being loving, understanding and patient.

Are there any parenting support groups in your area that you know of? I am not a parent myself but I know many communities run these types of groups for first time parents. Might be worth checking out so you don't feel so alone.
 

ladylore

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It just comes through loud and clear how much you love your daughter. It is so good to see. :hug:
 

lallieth

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I guess that's my biggest goal: to be a decent parent. I'd like to be the perfect parent, but I know that's unrealistic. I just want to be there for her.

It sounds like you have great kids. I guess it takes time and patience and loving and understanding. Sometimes I wonder how I can have those qualities since I didn't have them growing up.
I always wanted to be the perfect parent too Janet,but kids dont require a perfect parent,they just require a parent that is willing to spend time with them,talk with them and give them love and support,and I am sure you are doing all that and more :)
 

braveheart

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You're getting support. You care deeply. You're concerned.

I grew up around parents who were unstable and yes they cared, but were too locked into their own worlds to enter mine. And they had no support or treatment. Your situation is entirely different.
:hug:
 
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i am glad you aren't striving to be the perfect parent. that goal is unattainable and only adds more stress to your life. my goal is always to do the best i can, and that's all i can do. i won't ever be perfect but that's ok. we're only human too :)
 

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