More threads by abortive


Over the past year I have used many substances to my gain and have paid for it in the long run. I'm not addicted as much as I want to stop before any mental illness spreads into something worse (at least what I think).

9 months ago I had a terrible mushroom trip when alone at home, dumb idea. Smoking cron made the trip go downhill fast, I've had a hallocination problem ever since (visual). I was using cough syrup for about a week after that, I found some ritalin and started doing those too, those drugs didn't seem to have any long term affect on me, I just hated crashing. I haven't done anything too dangerous like meth or coke (or even E), (I've tried coke months ago and liked it), but I think the psychedelic drugs have taken more of a toll.

I still smoke pot, but my paranoia is more in charge of my high then I actually am, I feel very, very anxious after smoking dope sometimes. Also, I have probably gone into psychosis once or twice after hearing layered voices before I went to sleep, my thoughts were racing in that state and I was very paranoid. My anxiety is so bad, I haven't been to a proper school since I was 15 (I recently turned 17). I don't know what I have, I jsut self-diagnose myself alot, when I feel anxious I think that my illness is just all in my head like with OCD other times when I feel depressed I think I have a psychotic disorder. during that mushroom trip so long ago, I was convinced that I had schizophrenia due to the panic reaction from the pot.

Fuck doctors and their antipsychotics, I know two legit schizos and one is so tranqed on them he can barely function, the other only takes half a pill and still goes into psychosis sometimes. I really don't know what to do, i've read about drug induced hallucinnation disorders that come with anxiety problems that the user would have had before they started taking drugs. If I had some medication just to kill the anxiety then I would be fine, but I tried getting help and all the doctor could do was say I was in psychosis (this was waaay before I heard voices in my room one night). My biggest fear is going crazy and hurting someone, cause I'm really not like that, at all.

I guess but I don't know. I also don't know exactly what delusions are, but I think they have something to do with the self-diagnosing.

I just really don't wanna be tranqed.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
To start with, you need to stop smoking weed. Anyone who tells you it's harmless is misguided. It's obviously contributing to your problems right now and they are not going to disappear byu themselves. Get help from an addictions counselor if you need to but stop using all non-prescribed drugs.

Talk to your doctor about some of the available medications that could help you with these symptoms... you do not need to wind up "drugged" or zombie-like... that's not medication, in most cases, but overmedication or the wrong medication.
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