Over the past year I have used many substances to my gain and have paid for it in the long run. I'm not addicted as much as I want to stop before any mental illness spreads into something worse (at least what I think).
9 months ago I had a terrible mushroom trip when alone at home, dumb idea. Smoking cron made the trip go downhill fast, I've had a hallocination problem ever since (visual). I was using cough syrup for about a week after that, I found some ritalin and started doing those too, those drugs didn't seem to have any long term affect on me, I just hated crashing. I haven't done anything too dangerous like meth or coke (or even E), (I've tried coke months ago and liked it), but I think the psychedelic drugs have taken more of a toll.
I still smoke pot, but my paranoia is more in charge of my high then I actually am, I feel very, very anxious after smoking dope sometimes. Also, I have probably gone into psychosis once or twice after hearing layered voices before I went to sleep, my thoughts were racing in that state and I was very paranoid. My anxiety is so bad, I haven't been to a proper school since I was 15 (I recently turned 17). I don't know what I have, I jsut self-diagnose myself alot, when I feel anxious I think that my illness is just all in my head like with OCD other times when I feel depressed I think I have a psychotic disorder. during that mushroom trip so long ago, I was convinced that I had schizophrenia due to the panic reaction from the pot.
Fuck doctors and their antipsychotics, I know two legit schizos and one is so tranqed on them he can barely function, the other only takes half a pill and still goes into psychosis sometimes. I really don't know what to do, i've read about drug induced hallucinnation disorders that come with anxiety problems that the user would have had before they started taking drugs. If I had some medication just to kill the anxiety then I would be fine, but I tried getting help and all the doctor could do was say I was in psychosis (this was waaay before I heard voices in my room one night). My biggest fear is going crazy and hurting someone, cause I'm really not like that, at all.
I guess but I don't know. I also don't know exactly what delusions are, but I think they have something to do with the self-diagnosing.
I just really don't wanna be tranqed.
9 months ago I had a terrible mushroom trip when alone at home, dumb idea. Smoking cron made the trip go downhill fast, I've had a hallocination problem ever since (visual). I was using cough syrup for about a week after that, I found some ritalin and started doing those too, those drugs didn't seem to have any long term affect on me, I just hated crashing. I haven't done anything too dangerous like meth or coke (or even E), (I've tried coke months ago and liked it), but I think the psychedelic drugs have taken more of a toll.
I still smoke pot, but my paranoia is more in charge of my high then I actually am, I feel very, very anxious after smoking dope sometimes. Also, I have probably gone into psychosis once or twice after hearing layered voices before I went to sleep, my thoughts were racing in that state and I was very paranoid. My anxiety is so bad, I haven't been to a proper school since I was 15 (I recently turned 17). I don't know what I have, I jsut self-diagnose myself alot, when I feel anxious I think that my illness is just all in my head like with OCD other times when I feel depressed I think I have a psychotic disorder. during that mushroom trip so long ago, I was convinced that I had schizophrenia due to the panic reaction from the pot.
Fuck doctors and their antipsychotics, I know two legit schizos and one is so tranqed on them he can barely function, the other only takes half a pill and still goes into psychosis sometimes. I really don't know what to do, i've read about drug induced hallucinnation disorders that come with anxiety problems that the user would have had before they started taking drugs. If I had some medication just to kill the anxiety then I would be fine, but I tried getting help and all the doctor could do was say I was in psychosis (this was waaay before I heard voices in my room one night). My biggest fear is going crazy and hurting someone, cause I'm really not like that, at all.
I guess but I don't know. I also don't know exactly what delusions are, but I think they have something to do with the self-diagnosing.
I just really don't wanna be tranqed.
