More threads by barefaced


Hi there, I'm new to all this drug use and scene so please bear with me. My story is that I am 32, married with 2 kids. I have been married for 18 months almost and my kids are from a previous marriage. Basically my husband started smoking weed about 3 years ago just as a bit of a relaxant before he went out of a night. That was fine and I honestly didn't have a problem with it and I even did the odd one every now and then. Now we are living together and married, he has been doing it more and more often over the past year or so. He has even dabbled with growing it which I am very, very concerned about as my kids are only 9 and 6 years old. What kind of an example is that setting to them?

Anyway the reason why I want some advice is because I am worried for his state of mind right now. I haven't been well lately due to depression (which I really think has been made worse with all this) and I know it has been tough for him but I am seeing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my days are getting better and better. In the past 2 months I have had altogether one week of feeling like 6/10 or less so not bad going I think. Anyway it turns out that he's not happy and has had so much to put up with in the past few months that he must be a good guy for staying with me as not a lot of men would have done that. He has told me that he has had chances with other women since we've been married and has always turned them down (funny that as since we've been married rarely does he go out on his own) but now he would seriously consider it.

All of this has been out of the blue and I am left reeling over it. Do you think that all this could be a side effect of the weed? He is very forgetful (forgetting where he put his keys when he had them only 3 minutes before), moody, snappy, very pig headed at times (its always his way or not at all) Are all of these effects??? Please advise me what it is all about so I can help him. I'm fearing for him and our marriage right now.

Daniel E.
I don't know what you should do. Hopefully, someone with suggestions will post soon.

The pot certainly would be a factor in his forgetfulness, depression/anxiety, etc:

The following are some of the common side effects of using marijuana:

Trouble remembering things
Paranoia (feeling that people are "out to get you")
Altered time perception

Using marijuana for a long time makes some people lose interest in school, work, relationships and other activities. It may also cause legal problems. Using marijuana can be especially dangerous in certain situations, such as when you are driving.

--excerpt from Marijuana's Adverse Effects - (April 2005)

Now we are living together and married, he has been doing it more and more often over the past year or so.
You may need marriage counseling.

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
I agree with Daniel. I would also suggest that you suggest to your husband that he really consider some options before making a decision to leave.

At the very least, try and talk him into going to see a couples counselor with you. If the counselor is on the ball at all, s/he may be able to point out to your husband that, while what he is feeling about the relationship currently may be sincere, it is also possible that drug abuse and/or depression is affecting his thinking and judgement -- and that if he wants to make an informed decision that he'll be happy living with for the rerst of his life, maybe he ought to consider and examine this possibility before it's too late.
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