More threads by Melpub

Melpub

Member
Hello, all, I'm glad to be here and arrived after Googling "daughter dreads seeing narcissistic Mom," a fate that will soon befall me. I live in a different country, I'm pushing sixty and, one would think, could take care of myself. Though I tower over her, physically, and though she is 95 and cannot leave her assisted living facility without, well, assistance, I have nightmares about the person whom I prefer to think of as "Little Ms. Intrusive," as if to minimize the constant overstepping of boundaries. I really need only spend less than 48 hours by her side, and more than three weeks from now, but ugh. Why not cancel? Well, I was a longtime member of the (sadly defunct) Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers forum, and I've read around, and I know I can lie to her (an enormous relief) or go No Contact, which I've all but done. I'm asking myself why I haven't just cut her off completely. Partly for practical reasons: she is rich, we are poor, and at the moment I believe that I and my husband and children are still in her will. If I knew she weren't leaving me much of anything, would I go NC? I'd be more inclined to do so, yes. It's easy to make excuses. I guess I need more help with the dread, so I'd like to fill in a bit of my history. As a young teenager (fourteenish) I was sent to a Freudian psychoanalyst who told me that my mother was wonderful and I was lucky to have her. Unfortunately I stayed with him for the next 25 years. Until the year 2011--long after he had thankfully died--I believed he was right and there was something wrong with psychotic me. Then I started reading forums, plus contacting other former patients, and deprogramming myself. I've discovered the following: her psychiatrist sent him a letter describing Mom's incompetence, but not understanding it, and mentioning in passing that when Mom brought home my baby brother from the hospital, she asked if I'd like to see where he came from, then exposed her vagina. Her own shrink attached no importance to that moment apart from writing, "I guess with her anything goes," and apparently my own shrink also thought nothing of it--but similar behavior, including, for example, hugging me in train stations not like a mother but like a lover--grinding her pelvis into mine in a way that makes me pull back and feel revulsion--has defined my life with her. She was sexually abused, I've also discovered, and yes, I can pity her. But how to get through a brief visit in which thank God I'll have my own bedroom? :confused::confused:
 

Retired

Member
Welcome to Psychlinks, Melpub! Thank you for sharing your story and we'll look forward to your participation.

Let us know how we can help.
 

Melpub

Member
Thanks. Any practical advice would be appreciated. I supposed on dealing with dread, or on not letting the incredibly strong little old lady take over.
 

Melpub

Member
About two years ago--she was more ambulatory then;How was it? Horrible. She has a way of appearing just when you think you're alone, as I was at seven in the morning in my hotel down the street when I heard a rustling and a letter slid under the door . . . did I want to join her and my aunt for breakfast? I was glad the door was locked. It's all the usual narcissistic mom stuff; writing to my children to tell them about how they should get in touch with relatives I'd never allow to put a toe over the threshold, since they're pedophiles, I do believe, and have a number of other, in my opinion, unsavory characteristics. Basically, I would in a nanosecond avoid the visit if I were (a) certain she'd leave us something and (b) able to do so without really hurting her. For that, dear reader, is the real problem: I always feel sorry for the old girl, who then, not to be too melodramatic, shoves in the knife and twists it. She's old, but retains every last marble, and I just know she'll do something, and I'll be off-kilter, no matter how much common sense I think I have, for weeks.
 

amazingmouse

Account Closed
Hello, Melpub. Thanks for sharing. It seems your mother has problems that are much more serious than simply being narcissistic. I hope you do not mind me asking if she was actually diagnosed by her psychiatrist in the past or at the present and what strategies they recommend to her relatives for communicating with her? I certainly would not invest myself emotionally in the encounter, if I was you, although I know how difficult this is. Also, I can't say whether you are right at deciding to meet with her. It is a difficult situation.

---------- Post Merged at 01:36 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 01:05 PM ----------

Another thought that comes to mind is, if she is actually incompetent, how can she make or change a will? Is she in a condition to change her will now? It seems like you would be able to contest this if she does so?
 

Melpub

Member
Yes, I think she has a number of problems, and she also has a host of adoring friends. Actually, you'd love her--she's great if you're not family! There's the strain of agreeing with people who constantly comment on "how wonderful!" she is, and I have to admit, for her age she remains astonishingly energetic. I'm thinking of nuts and bolts things to minimize contact while actually visiting: since she's old and really should not come down to the station as she insists on doing, I could, I guess, lie about my time of arrival and just show up. Lying and smiling and inviting other people to join us really seem the main things to do, while dreaming of the moments when (1) I'm again safely on the train leaving and (2) eventually--this has just got to happen sometime! I get a phone call from some gentle-voiced nurse informing me that she's "passed," and this is when I have to restrain my enormous relief.
 

amazingmouse

Account Closed
Are you free to decide to not meet with her? If not, are you able to eliminate for yourself any trauma component out of the meeting?
 

Melpub

Member
By the way, apart from manipulative narcissism, what would you diagnose? Alas, she's pretty competent--I've noticed some short-term memory slippage, but not a whole lot more than my own. For 95, she's towering, Olympian, perfectly ghastly in her glowing health. Yes, it is hard not to react to her weirdness. Any and all tips welcome for this fateful visit, which I sure as heck hope is our last.

---------- Post Merged at 02:48 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 02:33 PM ----------

Well, yes, I could always cancel, but probably that would cause more nasty behavior, now that I've agreed to visit. My technique as always been to surround myself with other people to run interference, and to try to have a room with a door one can lock. But any tips at all would be appreciated. Thanks for responding to all my posts. I do appreciate it. I feel ridiculous for still having such anxiety about meeting up with someone who really is a little old fragile lady, but, well, she's also the type to thrive on causing trouble.
 

amazingmouse

Account Closed
I am not certified to diagnose anyone with anything, but a lot of what you shared in your first post regarding sexually inappropriate behaviour towards her own child and lack of inhibition might signal other conditions as well, from what I have read as a lay person, which is why I made a comment. Only a qualified practitioner would be able to properly diagnose her. Also, personality disorders are extremely challenging to deal with.
 

MHealthJo

MVP, Forum Supporter
MVP
Thoughts are with you. Take a good browse through all the sections here that you think might have something useful.... Hope you find the best way to take care of yourself and get through whatever you need to get through... now and later on too.
 
Replying is not possible. This forum is only available as an archive.
Top