In-patient

[Ashley-Kate]

hello,
Well as some have maybe noticed i have not been doing so great after my appointment with the new people i sort of lost control and have been unable to get back on track. I had an appointment with my old psychologist today ( he will be seeing me until the transfer gets done) and it wasn't so great. I spoke to him honestly about what has been going on and he gave me options. I have to eat a more consistent amount of food by tomorrow or i am going in the hospital by my own will (depending on if i fight them or not) if i refuse they will force me inside.

I am a bit uncomfortable with this idea because i have started a new job just moved into an apartment and i need the job to pay my lease and i also have to go out of town tomorrow for an appointment for my hair with a friend ( i do realize how not important some of these things are). I don't want to go back in the hospital but it is the end of the trial day and i have not fulfilled my psychologists request.and to top it off that may not even be good enough. he is going to talk with my new psychiatrist and my Dr to evaluate with them what should be done. so even if i do eat it won't change much.

I am scared i know i need help but i don't want anyone to panic or to be worried about me and i don't want to go back to the hospital.especially not in a psychiatric wing again. I am terrified . i have to call him tomorrow morning at 8h30 and i really don't know what to expect.. i tried to eat i really did and i did eat some.. i feel so overwhelmed..

ouff.. its not fare they haven't considered the huge amount of stress i have been under, the moving the new apartment the new job the new roommates. I'm scared,
sorry for sounding all pathetic i am just freaking out right now

 

[Jazzey]

Re: in-patient.

You don't sound pathetic Ash. But getting better is the most important thing. There's a reason why they're not considering your current level of stress: it's not relevant. What is relevant is whether or not you're taking in enough food, whether you're maintaining a healthy weight.

I'm sorry Ash. I wish the news were better for you. But I still have a lot of faith in you. I know that you can do this...Now make this a priority in the days to come - this HAS to be your priority. :hug: :hug:

Keep us posted on how you're doing - you'll be in my thoughts Ash. :hug:

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: in-patient.

Hi Ashley-Kate I am sorry to hear of your struggle. Know whatever happens the doctors are on your side. They just want to keep you healthy and well so you can continue to function well on the outside. The most important thing right now is you. Take care and i hope to hear you are doing better keep us posted in my thoughts often mary

 

[Meg]

Thinking of you, Ash :hug:

 

[HBas]

Hey,

You are doing so good, and very far from pathetic indeed. You have a job, a nice little place to stay and people who care - those are all in place. Please try to 'chillax' a bit if you can cause that will help you to take better care of yourself! You can do it AK - You can keep healty.

And I bet your hair looks gorgeous!

Thinking you AK

 

[Ashley-Kate]

hello,
Well just thought i would let you all know that i have been given a week. Well not exacly a week but until next tuesday my psychologist was able to get me an appointment with my familly dr. next tuesday and therefore i don't have to get shipped off to the emergency room to get evaluated they are going to wait and see what the dr. says on tuesday. Hopefully everything goes ok. Hopefully from now till then things improve a bit for me. I am a bit nervous though because i have an appointment with the dr. then right after i have an mini appointment with the both of them and then i have my normal appointment with my psychologist... But anyway my stress level has went down a lot today and that is great. I get to finish moving my stuff from my apartment in without being scared that i don't have the time. and i had a great night last night got myself a brand new look which helps me feel a bit better about myself.
thank you all for your support!

 

[ladylore]

Good luck Ash.

 

[forgetmenot]

I am glad for you AK hope you can stay well enjoy yourself okay. take care

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Ashley-Kate just thinking of you and wishing you well for tommorrow

 

[HBas]

Hey Hey AK

Hope today is going to be a glorious day!
May you smile all the way out of the doctors office ... Thinking of you!

HB

 

[Ashley-Kate]

thank you all! i am actualy realy nervous at the moment as i am getting ready to leave for work. I leave early today for my appointments. But i am trying to stay positive because i was able to maintain my weight!!! i didn't lose anything so that should mean something to them! no...
Anyway i am feeling a bit better as well i was a bit sick this last week but i am geting better finally! thank you all again for your support!

ash

 

[Jazzey]

That's wonderful news Ash!! Congratulations for keeping stable with your weight. I'm really proud for you. Good work :2thumbs:

I'll be thinking of you today and I'm sending you nothing but positive vibes and warm hugs :hug: :hug:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Well i guess my weight was not so much the issue this week. i just got back from the hospital but they didn't keep me i was a bit dehydrated so they fixed me up and sent me on my way . my appointment with the dr. went well ok i guess but she felt worried of how i looked and my health so she sent me to the hospital i am okay now though

 

[Jazzey]

I'm happy to hear that you're ok Ash. And I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself - keep doing this Ash. :2thumbs:

 

[texasgirl]

Me too, Ash! My thoughts are with you. Take care,

TG :friends:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey Ashley-Kate I am glad the doctor got you well enough before sending you home. I am proud you maintained your weight good for you Take care enjoy your new place best wishes always

 

[Ashley-Kate]

thank you all! Well i am a lot more rested than i was a few days ago i guess the hole being forced to the hospital sort of drained me of my energy. I guess i could have went voluntarily. I don't think i will ever be able to go in on my own i had too many bad experiences in the hospital and too many disappointments in that kind of forced treatment to believe in it. I am more confident in a eventual recovery in a regular environment than a treatment in a hospital.

i am hoping to get myself back on track a bit more in the next couple of days or week because i am still kind of on parole or something were they will be checking my vitals and my weight on a regular basis until my food intake becomes more acceptable , and my vitals get a bit better.

i understand there way of thinking and their reaction but must admit it was very frustrating to feel like i had no control.
thank you al for your support!