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Increase in abuse near holidays
By Community Partners in Action Committee,
Special to Sherwood Park News
Monday, November 12, 2012
The holiday season is fast approaching and for some it may not be a joyful time of year.
There is often an increase in reports of domestic disharmony during the holiday season, when the pressures of family and the expenses of the season, in conjunction with increased alcohol consumption, exert additional strains on relationships.
Domestic violence pertains to dating relationships, marriages, common-law relationships, same-sex and heterosexual partners.
“Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected and are, by definition, victims of domestic violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behaviour problems as a result of their unfortunate, traumatic life experiences.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. It is as prevalent in lower-income families as it is in upper-income families.... The faces of domestic violence represent the entire spectrum of racial and cultural colors.
Researchable data indicates that one out of four households are affected by domestic violence.” (Tanya Young Williams: The Rise in Domestic Violence Is Nothing to Celebrate this Holiday Season: Tanya's U.R.O.K. Survival Kit.)
Domestic abuse is perpetrated by both men and women. Male victims often struggle to report being victimized, possibly due to embarrassment or the perception that men should be stronger and more resilient.
However, statistics show that women are four times more likely to be murdered in domestic violence situations by men, than men are by women. On average, women experience approximately 35 incidents of physical domestic violence before seeking intervention.
Women often rationalize not reporting domestic violence for some of the following reasons:
• She doesn’t want to shatter the “dream,” she thought she had with him.
• Because he doesn’t “hit” her (even though he may shove her, threaten her and damage her property), she feels she has nothing to report.
• She loves him, feels sorry for him, and doesn’t want him to get in trouble.
• She is so stripped of her self-worth (severe co-dependency) that she believes if she breaks up the relationship, she won’t survive.
• She is so deranged, confused and manipulated she believes the problems are her fault.
• He keeps promising that he’ll change and she holds on to this hope.
• She is so addicted to him (severe co-dependency) that she doesn’t believe she can live without him.
• She is terrified to report the event (because of threats in regard to her security or on her life made by the violent partner).
• She is filled with shame.
• She is worried about breaking up her family.
• She believes she won’t receive help from the police.
• She doesn’t know where to go for help.
• She doesn’t think anyone will believe her.
• She has gone back so many times, she is ashamed and embarrassed to take action again.
(Above information from: “Domestic Abuse - Emotional Abuse, Physical Violence The truth regarding physical, mental and emotional abuse to women” by Melanie Tonia Evan.)
Once a decision to report has been made, it also becomes a challenge for the victim to remain strong in their resolve to stay away from the offender.
Battered women have reported returning to the offender because of economic concerns, family pressure, child-care issues, isolation from their former lifestyle, fear of losing custody of children, fear for personal safety, threats of suicide from the offender, promises by the offender to change or seek treatment, fear of escalation in the violence, and fear of having to leave their homes.
Victims must be aware that there are numerous support systems in our community which can help to alleviate many of these concerns.
November is Family Violence Prevention Month in Alberta. There are a variety of local support services available for those affected by family violence.
The Strathcona County RCMP domestic violence unit can be reached at 780-467-7741 for more information. A Safe Place offers many services to those experiencing family violence. Learn more at www.asafeplace.ca or contact their crisis line at 780-464-7233 (this line is also available to residents experiencing elder abuse).
This column is one of a series by the local Community Partners in Action Committee (CPAC). This group identifies social needs, issues and gaps and works together to address them. If you require any further information regarding this committee contact Strathcona County Family and Community Services at 780-464-4044. Watch for another column next month.
By Community Partners in Action Committee,
Special to Sherwood Park News
Monday, November 12, 2012
The holiday season is fast approaching and for some it may not be a joyful time of year.
There is often an increase in reports of domestic disharmony during the holiday season, when the pressures of family and the expenses of the season, in conjunction with increased alcohol consumption, exert additional strains on relationships.
Domestic violence pertains to dating relationships, marriages, common-law relationships, same-sex and heterosexual partners.
“Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected and are, by definition, victims of domestic violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behaviour problems as a result of their unfortunate, traumatic life experiences.
Domestic violence does not discriminate. It is as prevalent in lower-income families as it is in upper-income families.... The faces of domestic violence represent the entire spectrum of racial and cultural colors.
Researchable data indicates that one out of four households are affected by domestic violence.” (Tanya Young Williams: The Rise in Domestic Violence Is Nothing to Celebrate this Holiday Season: Tanya's U.R.O.K. Survival Kit.)
Domestic abuse is perpetrated by both men and women. Male victims often struggle to report being victimized, possibly due to embarrassment or the perception that men should be stronger and more resilient.
However, statistics show that women are four times more likely to be murdered in domestic violence situations by men, than men are by women. On average, women experience approximately 35 incidents of physical domestic violence before seeking intervention.
Women often rationalize not reporting domestic violence for some of the following reasons:
• She doesn’t want to shatter the “dream,” she thought she had with him.
• Because he doesn’t “hit” her (even though he may shove her, threaten her and damage her property), she feels she has nothing to report.
• She loves him, feels sorry for him, and doesn’t want him to get in trouble.
• She is so stripped of her self-worth (severe co-dependency) that she believes if she breaks up the relationship, she won’t survive.
• She is so deranged, confused and manipulated she believes the problems are her fault.
• He keeps promising that he’ll change and she holds on to this hope.
• She is so addicted to him (severe co-dependency) that she doesn’t believe she can live without him.
• She is terrified to report the event (because of threats in regard to her security or on her life made by the violent partner).
• She is filled with shame.
• She is worried about breaking up her family.
• She believes she won’t receive help from the police.
• She doesn’t know where to go for help.
• She doesn’t think anyone will believe her.
• She has gone back so many times, she is ashamed and embarrassed to take action again.
(Above information from: “Domestic Abuse - Emotional Abuse, Physical Violence The truth regarding physical, mental and emotional abuse to women” by Melanie Tonia Evan.)
Once a decision to report has been made, it also becomes a challenge for the victim to remain strong in their resolve to stay away from the offender.
Battered women have reported returning to the offender because of economic concerns, family pressure, child-care issues, isolation from their former lifestyle, fear of losing custody of children, fear for personal safety, threats of suicide from the offender, promises by the offender to change or seek treatment, fear of escalation in the violence, and fear of having to leave their homes.
Victims must be aware that there are numerous support systems in our community which can help to alleviate many of these concerns.
November is Family Violence Prevention Month in Alberta. There are a variety of local support services available for those affected by family violence.
The Strathcona County RCMP domestic violence unit can be reached at 780-467-7741 for more information. A Safe Place offers many services to those experiencing family violence. Learn more at www.asafeplace.ca or contact their crisis line at 780-464-7233 (this line is also available to residents experiencing elder abuse).
This column is one of a series by the local Community Partners in Action Committee (CPAC). This group identifies social needs, issues and gaps and works together to address them. If you require any further information regarding this committee contact Strathcona County Family and Community Services at 780-464-4044. Watch for another column next month.
