Introduction

[KarrenB]

Hello,

I am 41 years of age. I began having problems with depression at the age of 20 and it has been a struggle for me for 21 years. After being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder (mixed) , I was in denial for a long time and actually told my psychiatrist at the time that she was , "whacked"! Well now I'm no longer in denial.

I have had periods where I have done well (being well meaning stayed out of the psychiatric hospital) for more than 2-5 years at a time. When I get 'ill' again, I am always asked the same question, "What kept you out of the hospital for that length of time"? My answer is simple, I don't know. And truthfully, I don't.

I have not taken any medication since September, 2009. Now, however, the "dark horse" is back again. I'm trying to fight for my health, physical and mental, but I don't know if I am going to win.

So, I'm hoping in voicing my concerns here, I can gain insight how to better help myself.

Thanks for reading

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I was in denial for a long time and actually told my psychiatrist at the time that she was , "whacked"! Well now I'm no longer in denial.

Is the psychiatrist still "whacked"?

Welcome to Psychlinks, Karren.

First, what you describe is not uncommon for bipolar disorder. Some people can remain relatively stable for quite long periods of time between episodes. However, " thedark horse" or what Winston Churchill called "the black dog" is back and you need to treat that as soon as possible.

Call your doctor or psychiatrist and get yourself back on some medication as soon as possible.

Have a look at Daniel's review, http://forum.psychlinks.ca/psychlin...anxiety-and-making-the-most-of-bad-genes.html, and look for a copy of the book, Amazon.com: Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes (9781599951560): Therese Borchard: Books.

Browse the author's website at Therese J. Borchard - Beyond Blue where she discusses her own struggles with bipolar disorder and "the black dog" in numerous posts and videos, some reposted here at Psychlinks.

 

[Daniel E.]

:welcome:

 

[Banned]

Welcome, Karren.

I've just recently been diagnosed with Bipolar and I'm still in a bit of denial myself, so I can understand and appreciate some of what you're saying. As Dr. Baxter said, Therese Borchard's resources are amazing. I've just finished her book Beyond Blue (ok, I read it in a day) and it was amazing. Inspiring, fear-provoking, thought-provoking, comical, scary...all those things. But I think it's something that anyone with Bipolar should read.

Anyway, welcome to the forum. It's good to have you.

 

[Retired]

Hello Karren and welcome to the Forum. Hope you find the information and support you need. Let us know how we can help.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi welcome I am glad you can recognise when your illness is getting out of control I agree that now is the time to call your doctor and get back on the medication before the illness becomes to overpowering. You need some help right now everyone does sometimes right.

 

[Andy]

Welcome KarrenB:2thumbs:
I am sorry your feeling like this right now.
I can relate a lot actually. This year is the first year (or almost) that I have not been in hospital at one point or more for the last 15 or so years. With that said, most of my hospitalizations have been because I stopped taking my medication...see where I am going lol Nip it in the bud (I hope that's the right saying). Stop this before it has a chance to get worse, which may mean meds, therapy is always good. If you are fighting for yourself then take the steps to get there. You will be able to come out of this as you have many times before.:2thumbs:

 

[Murray]

Welcome to psychlinks :welcome2: