Introduction

[David]

Hello,

My name is David and I am gong on 45 years old, married with 2 children, both boys ages 17 and 22.

I really wanted to join in the hopes that I would get some usefull insights from other members regarding how to deal with young adults and how to keep our family from coming apart at the seams over what I feel is fairly typical behavior for children.

My Wife and I are most ceratinly best friends however the past couple of years have really strained our relationship as we have somewhat differing opinions on how to handle the boys at this point. To make matters worse she does not seem capable of accepting their behavior as normal and tends to take on any & all of the blame for the problems we are currently having, which makes our time together less and less enjoyable and her more and more stressed, believing she has failed as a Mother.


Thank you and like I said, I am hoping someone out there can help with some insights


David

 

[Cat Dancer]

Welcome to Psychlinks.

 

[Andy]

Welcome to Psychlinks David!:2thumbs:

 

[bloodwood]

Hi David, Welcome to the group.
I'm really sorry to hear about your difficulties.
I have no children, just cats.

Perspective on normal behavior can certainly vary. It never fails to amaze me what some find acceptable or even unacceptable...and why.
Have you and your wife talked with anyone about your difference in views? And why each of you has the views that you have?
The opinions and views and experiences you will encounter here and elsewhere are going to vary as much as your own views. I don't think there is a right answer. Just an acceptable common ground.

But understanding why each other has their views can make it more palatable.
Exploring with you why she has the concerns might help ease things a bit. And her knowing why you feel the conduct is OK and safe. Though I expect you guys have done a lot of talking.

I work at a college and have seen some pretty rowdy souls turn into really wonderful people...and vice versa.
Peter