Is it normal to have constant panic attacks when avoiding reassurance rituals?

[Freckles]

I have a hard time refraining from asking my spouse serieses of questions. I am trying very hard to refrain from questioning. It is causing an almost constant state of panic. Is this normal? If I continue trying to change my thought process and refraining from comfort zones will this eventually improve?

Thanks everyone! Hope everyone had a lovely holiday!:thankyou2:

 

[Lana]

Hi, Freckles;
I'm afraid there's not enough information in your post and I'm having difficulty understanding what you're asking. Could you expand on that a bit more? What kind of questions do you ask? Assurances? Information? Clarification? What is causing panic? Your refrain or the questions themselves or replies? What is the panic about, specifically?

As an aside, most change involves stepping away from comfort zones and can evoke a bit of panic. But you're right there in thinking that it would pass. Once you find a new, healthy and improved way of coping with a stressor, the panic would pass and you'll feel more settled. It's kind of like swimming or riding a bike -- it's hard to let go of the support or loose the training wheels, but once you learn to float or keep your balance, you're good to go and no longer need something, or someone, to hold on to.

I hope that helps a bit and that you and your family had a fantastic holiday season.

 

[Freckles]

Thanks for your reply, Lana. That is helpful, thanks!

And the questioning I've been told is a form of obsessive thinking. I tend to pick situations and worries apart that relate to my spouse and the fear of being cheated on or anything remotely that would be similar. I will go back to things that happened years ago and ask questions to regain assurance. I've done this for ten years.

I grew up in a very emotionally abusive home which later turned into extremely physically abusive situations. My father would point guns at my mother and I, kidnap her for several days and leave me home alone, etc. I have horrible trust issues.

I had OCD as a child to where I would confess thoughts and had to have my mom tell me that I didn't have to tell her things about every thirty seconds. I would also compulsively wash my hands and do number rituals or I thought something bad would happen.

I'm assuming this questioning thing has replaced the other OCD things of past. So that's what I was wondering. It's almost like I "forget" if I've asked a certain question and then all I can do is dwell on "what if" type scenerios of the past. I was just curious if it was normal to feel completely panic-y at not being able to ask the question. A current thought is taking me over and I'm fighting really hard not to give in and ask a question.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi panic yes i think would come if you are not able to do what your use to doing to release your stress. If you do not want to go into the questioning then try just writing out what you want to say on a piece of paper. Write it out read it then throw it away in the garbage that way you are getting the thoughts out of your head. Something i do to release the panic feeling it sometimes helps take care.
I do understand the need to repeat myself sometimes i feel i am not being heard it drives my husband crazy too. I sometime really don't remember asking or saying the same thing over as he says hundred times ah ah. I hope this helps take care.

 

[Daniel E.]

I'm assuming this questioning thing has replaced the other OCD things of past...

Freckles, what is keeping you from getting professional help about this?

I was just curious if it was normal to feel completely panic-y at not being able to ask the question. A current thought is taking me over and I'm fighting really hard not to give in and ask a question.

It is not normal to have this issue, though it may be normal for someone with OCD, in which case professional treatment would be a necessity. Self-help is not sufficient for OCD or any other mental disorder.

 

[Freckles]

Hi Violet,

Thank you for your reply. It is helpful to know that I am not alone. Do you find that you also recheck what your spouse says? For instance, sometimes I think "What if he said this instead?" and I will go back and ask him to verify what he said. I know that sounds nuts.

And thanks Daniel. I'm trying to get help and finding it hard to get my ob to refer me to someone. I have been to a therapist before and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress, OCD and mild scizophernia (the last one was loosely used as a possiblity because he said that the paranoia I had was with normal things and not things that were considered to make you unfunctional. Does that make sense? My dad had full blown scizophernia and so I don't know if that "fits" or if that gets labeled as a possiblity because of family history.) They keep giving me anxiety meds but I really feel like I need to talk with someone. I don't think the ob knows what meds are best for what although I know they are more knowledgable than me. It just seems logical that a doctor who speciliazes in this would be best to prescribe medicine and help me.

:thankyou2: to all!

 

[Daniel E.]

They keep giving me anxiety meds but I really feel like I need to talk with someone.

Yeah, for OCD/anxiety, therapy can be more effective than medications, though the ideal is a usually combination of both.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey no i don't think i get husband to repeat what he said. I do sometime takes what he said as attacking me, as not understanding me. I don't think he truly hears what i am saying. In regards to your mental health it is important to get a psychiatrist to diagnose you and treat you Take care okay hope you can get in to see a doctor soon.