Is It Ok To Say Whatever I Want In Therapy?

[GDPR]

My therapist has said "this is therapy,you can say whatever you want".

I'm just wondering though, is it really ok to say whatever I want?

 

[Banned]

Yep. Its your hour. You can say whatever you want. Whatever is on your mind. That's how your therapist helps you, b you sharing what you're thinking.

 

[GDPR]

I was asking because I think I do best when I don't plan ahead of time and just start thinking out loud while I'm in there.I'm 100% real when I do,emotions included,and I don't hold back at all.

I just worry about some of the things that come out of my mouth though. There's a big difference in thinking things and actually saying them out loud. And some of the things I said during my last session makes me worry that I may have offended my therapist.

 

[Banned]

Your therapist is probably not offended, but if it concerns you, you can ask for peace of mind. There's not much they haven't heard, and it's important that you feel you can be completely open and honest; they encourage that.

 

[GDPR]

I doubt I will ask him. I am hoping he has forgotten what I said(which I doubt since he was really scribbling on his little notepad as I was saying it).

What if being completely open and honest makes you look.....dangerous? Or completely unstable?

 

[Banned]

Then it's something to discuss...the fact that you are afraid what you are saying may make you appear that way. I'm learning that half of therapy is saying stuff, the other half is talking about how saying that stuff made me feel because just saying it isn't enough.

Minor example - sometimes I swear (ok, a lot)...I asked my therapist if it offends him if I drop the occasional f-bomb. It was bothering me that it might, so I asked him. He's cool with it. He even does too sometimes. It's minor, but it took some stress off. But I needed to have that conversation.

 

[GDPR]

I laughed when I read that about swearing because I tend to drop the f-bomb every other word in there,along with alot of other words. They're more like sentence fillers or enhancers.

I guess maybe I should talk about it next time. I don't want him to think I'm dangerous because of what I said. And I guess pretending I didn't say it doesn't change it...I did ​say it.

 

[rdw]

I think you should ask him -why not clear the air and ease your mind?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

My therapist has said "this is therapy,you can say whatever you want".

I'm just wondering though, is it really ok to say whatever I want?

Yes.

And regarding your supplementary concern above, no competent therapist would take a single comment out of context and jump to the conclusion that you're suddenly dangerous.

 

[MHealthJo]

Part of what we pay a therapist for is to not be offended or judgmental - to just hear absolutely whatever is trying to be expressed, so as to understand you the absolute most that they possibly can, so as to help you the most.

 

[GDPR]

But sometimes I feel really embarrassed because of the things I say.There have even been a few times my T has said "I have never heard anything like that in all the years I have been practicing".

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

If he sounds like he is expressing surprise or astonishment, just ask him, "Why did you say that?" Or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, "I wish you wouldn't say that, it makes me feel really embarrassed." If he explains himself, I am sure you will find no reason to feel embarrassed.

Perhaps he genuinely has never come across someone in your exact situation. My therapist had few similar reactions. I admit when I was too embarrassed to say something I would write it down or print it off for him, because I felt I had to tell him, but he never made me feel bad for what I wrote down...

 

[GDPR]

He never makes me feel bad for anything I say.I never feel like I'm being judged either. It's just that when he says that it sometimes makes me feel like I should censor myself.

I'm sure he has said it because he probably really hasn't heard anything like some of the things I tell him. Not because he's surprised or shocked,but because maybe he hasn't had anyone else that has experienced some of the things I have.

Maybe I should ​tell him how it makes me feel when he says it.

 

[eva]

If it's something that's making you second-guess yourself and have a harder time being open in therapy, it might be worth bringing up.

I think if you have a unique experience or point view that won't hurt others, it's okay to share. It's what makes you who you are. But if you're feeling like you're somehow 'different' or an 'exception' from anyone else being treated, it adds a layer of challenge to communication with your therapist. This is just my suggestion, but you could let him know that nobody is to blame but you'd like to hear an alternative response from him.