Is this pretty normal?

[boi]

I have been going to a new therapist for about a month now. I really like her. I have noticed such a difference from the last one. I feel very good talking to the new one. The question I have, and I want to see if its common, is it normal to feel like you are being misunderstood when really there is no misunderstanding. I said something last session and when I went to her the next time I clarified what I had said the previous time and I hoped that she hadn't taken it the wrong way. Of course she hadn't, she hadn't even thought about what I was worried about. I think I worry what she will think about me and the people I talk about.

There are also some silences and I don't know where to look. If I say something and then there is silence and no one is talking. I don't know if I should look at the therapist or look away.

 

[Domo]

Re: is this pretty normal?

I am not sure about your first question, it's a little vague for me. But if i understand correctly then i think if she's has misunderstood i try to clarify right away otherwise i know i will worry about it until the next session. And as you said generally no clarification was required.

You don't need to look away if you don't want to. Whatever is comfortable for you. There are no rules

If i am a bit shy about something then i will just look down at my hands in my lap or something.

So to answer your question i would say yes, these are all pretty normal things.

I'm glad you have found someone you are comfortable with.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: is this pretty normal?

I think yes this is normal. I think i often wonder if i am getting my thoughts across clearly. i don't have eye contact because i am not comfortable with that My therapist understands I think he would prefer eye contact but in time maybe. I don't see the importance for it as long as my messages are getting across clearly and i am understanding him. I am glad you are more comfortable with your new therapist Boi as this will help you in the long run.

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: is this pretty normal?

I think I worry what she will think about me and the people I talk about.

I think everyone experiences the spotlight effect to some degree.

 

[boi]

Re: is this pretty normal?

thanks domo, violet and daniel,
I am feeling better about this. I also just read about the spotlight effect. I definitely see myself in parts of that.

 

[Domo]

Re: is this pretty normal?

Once your relationship with her develops things will become more comfortable and you will understand eachother better (that's what i have found anyway). It's still early days.

All the best

 

[Murray]

I am really glad that you like your new therapist. It can take a while to get comfortable with a therapist. The eye contact thing was a real struggle for a long time in my sessions. It took some time, but now I don't obsess so much about where I am looking although, l spend a lot of time looking at my hands or the wall. I do think that a lot of us struggle with the spotlight effect. As far as misunderstandings, we haven't had too many, but I definitely obsess about them until the next session. It drives me nuts. Then, I am usually to anxious to try to clarify and worry about it for another week or two :lol: ... I really don't recommend that approach.

 

[boi]

exactly, me too. I just look back but I am not comfortable doing that, I do it anyway and then I look away. I am going to try and not obsess about anything....
thanks

 

[Murray]

Good idea, I found the more I worried about it the more awkward it became. It got to the point when I really could barely speak because I was getting so upset about other crap, like where I was looking. Good Luck

 

[Banned]

boi,

I look at the floor ALOT. Even when I'm talking. So - I think pretty much anything goes. I rarely make any eye contact.