Is Your Glass Half Full, Half Empty or Broken?

[David Baxter PhD]

Is Your Glass Half Full, Half Empty or Broken?
by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., Mindfulness and Psychotherapy
October 29, 2010

Over the course of our lives we?ve been labeled or labeled ourselves as a glass half full or empty kind of person. But what if the glass was already broken? That?s the lesson that Ajahn Chah gives to a group of students including Psychiatrist Mark Epstein, author of Thoughts Without A Thinker.

Ajahn Chah was a highly respected Buddhist Teacher, maybe well known to some as Jack Kornfield?s teacher. What was he talking about when he said the glass is already broken and how does that relate to our lives?

He says:

?You see this goblet? For me, this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on a shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ?Of course.? But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.?
​

On the surface he was making the statement that if he considers the glass to be already broken then he can open up his mind to be more present with it and appreciate the time he has with the glass. At the same time, if it breaks, he?s not so attached because he understands the natural course of it is to break so he?s not as attached.

We can take a lesson for our lives. The question isn?t, is your glass half full or half empty? The question is, are you able to see the glass as already broken? In other words, do you comprehend that our time here is short and eventually will pass? Are you able to see that the label of half full or half empty that you may be so identified with is just a story in the mind that is also already broken and will eventually pass away?

If you understand this you may just find yourself at times lying in a field beyond half full or half empty where your cup is completely empty ready to receive the wonders of life that are all around.

Worth pondering?

 

[defect]

Excellent analogy, yet I find this sentence painfully true to me.

At the same time, if it breaks, he’s not so attached because he understands the natural course of it is to break so he’s not as attached.

I can see the positive interpretation of this quote, but have no lasting ideas on how to apply it to life.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I can see the positive interpretation of this quote, but have no lasting ideas on how to apply it to life.

I find that with some of the elements of Buddhism: They seem right and accurate and all as philosophical goals but when applied to the context of the real world (or at least the real world of western civilization) they seem to lose some relevance. We can't all spend our lives reflecting and meditating like the Dalai Lama. We also need to go out and earn money to pay our bills and feed our children.

But I think of it as similar to the notion of the Ideal Self: We know we're never going to achieve what would be necessary to be that person because that person isn't realistic, but there is value in striving to become someone who is closer to the ideal.

 

[Modus.Ponens]

Ajahn Chah was regarded as an arahat by many.

Dr. Baxter, I disagree with you regarding the relevance of buddhist teachings today. They were useful then and are useful now. If a person wants to meditate 24/7 they still can, using mindfulness. Mindfulness is the key to nirvana. Mindfulness can be practiced when working or in whatever situation. Of course, the optimal conditions are only present when one is a monk. But even as a lay person one can go very far or even until te end. Lay life is not so suportive of meditation and it was already difficult at the time of the Buddha. But at the time of the Buddha there were lay individuals who were arahats. It's a question of effort.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I didn't say they were not useful or relevant. My point was only that sometimes it's hard to put them into practice, especially in the context of a busy and stressful life.

 

[defect]

I think my previous post did not say what I was trying to get across.
I meant to say, I understand the "positive" interpretation of the original post, yet I interpreted it in a much more negative or hopeless and "unattached" way.
I understand and have the ability to see how it could be interpreted to be seen in a positive light, but have no idea how to maintain that kind of thinking for any length of time.

our time here is short and eventually will pass

I can see how this could be seen as, "this too shall pass," or to keep in mind that difficult times won't last forever. It is not my original thought process that leads me to see it this way, however. My automatic thought after reading a quote like this is, "nothing lasts forever, so why bother, and who cares? If I bother to care it will only hurt in the end of everything I want to hold near to my heart." I am a fairly intelligent person, and I see how this kind of thinking is not kind or loving to my own self, and how it prevents me from truly giving my self and my heart to anything. I see that it is rooted in a place of fear, and probably is "automatic" as a defense in an attempt to protect my heart and self. The non-original thought, (to me) the positive interpretation, is what I don't know how to make last, or apply to life.
That might make less sense than I did before. I find lately, in the past 2 years or so, I am consistently not expressing myself in a way that my intended input is correctly understood. Hmmm. :bonk:

 

[Modus.Ponens]

Hi Defect

The problem is that one thing is to accept impermanence intelectualy and the other _ completely different _ is to have experiencial insight into impermanence. The first makes us want to hold on to good things and push away the bad ones, while the latter makes this reaction pointless because one truly understands impermanence and there's nothing you can do about it unless to enjoy the moment.

 

[NewKarma]

The problem is that one thing is to accept impermanence intelectualy and the other _ completely different _ is to have experiencial insight into impermanence.

This.

For so much of my life I've thought of myself as a deep and insightful person. Interested in philospophy, morality, and people, I thought I knew something about something. Turns out, as I'm only beginning to realize over the past year or two, I know nothing about nothing. Or, more specifically (and as Modus Ponens is saying), I understood some important concepts, but didn't know them experientially. That makes all the difference in the world.

Mindfulness and much about Buddhism (and maybe pretty much everything worth knowing in this world) is like that: You can think you know it because you understand the concept, but it will take the right conditions to make for an experience where you finally learn the truth. "I thought I knew, but now, finally, I see."

Good luck.

 

[defect]

It's the actualization of the concept, the "experiential insight" that I find hard to bear. I feel like my heart breaks over and over with each day that passes. Not from my own personal life, but in learning about the journeys of all of the world's creatures. I experience these impressions all with the same intensity and I don't know how to repair the glass or put it back together, let alone hold it together for a moment. Reality bites.

 

[Daniel E.]

Reality bites.

BTW, from the Leaves of Perfection thread:

CAMPBELL: Life is, in its very essence and character, a terrible mystery – this whole business of living by killing and eating. But it is a childish attitude to say no to life with all its pain, to say that this is something that should not have been.

MOYERS: Zorba says, “Trouble? Life is trouble.”

CAMPBELL: Only death is no trouble. People ask me, “Do you have optimism about the world?” And I say, “Yes, it’s great just the way it is. And you are not going to fix it up. Nobody has ever made it any better. It is never going to be any better. This is it, so take it or leave it. You are not going to correct or improve it.” ...James Joyce has a memorable line: “History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.” And the way to awake from it is not to be afraid, and to recognize that all of this, as it is, is a manifestation of the horrendous power that is all creation. The ends of things are always painful. But pain is part of there being a world at all.

MOYERS: But if you accepted that as an ultimate conclusion, you wouldn’t try to form any laws or fight any battles or –

CAMPBELL: I didn’t say that.

MOYERS: Isn’t that the logical conclusion to draw from accepting everything as it is?

CAMPBELL: That is not the necessary conclusion to draw. You could say, “I will participate in this life, I will join the army, I will go to war,” and so forth.

MOYERS: “I will do the best I can.”

CAMPBELL: “I will participate in the game. It is a wonderful, wonderful opera – except that it hurts.” Affirmation is difficult. We always affirm with conditions….But affirming the way it is – that’s the hard thing….

Amazon.com: The Power of Myth (9780385418867): Joseph Campbell, Bill Moyers: Books

"We must give to life at least as much as we receive from it. Every moment one lives is different from the next. The good, the bad, the hardship. the joy, the tragedy, love and happiness are all interwoven into one single indescribable whole that is called life. You cannot separate the good from the bad. And, perhaps there is no need to do so either."

~ Jackie Kennedy

 

[NewKarma]

It's the actualization of the concept, the "experiential insight" that I find hard to bear. I feel like my heart breaks over and over with each day that passes. Not from my own personal life, but in learning about the journeys of all of the world's creatures.

You have a golden opportunity in those experiences that are so hard to bear. It was only after beginning my mindfulness and meditation practice (less than a year ago) that I realized that part of the trick was to embrace those humbling moments with enthusiasm. For me, one of my issues was anxiety and I retrained myself to see my anxiety mindfully in a particular way that would allow for growth. Rather than treating it as the enemy, like I have for all of my life, I needed to see it as a usable head-space ("being with the anxiety"; accepting it as a valid/workable head-space). Now, when I become aware/mindful of my own anxiety (which is nearly gone completely btw), a smile will cross my face because I know that I am being presented with an opportunity for growth if I approach the feeling correctly. I try to take the same attitude to any humbling or "undesirable" thoughts/feelings.

Once you finally realize that you can work with any head-space and that you can bear it (even if your instinct is to feel that you cannot), then those thoughts and emotions lose their control over you. Indeed, they are in your service when you see them for what they are.

I experience these impressions all with the same intensity and I don't know how to repair the glass or put it back together, let alone hold it together for a moment.

Holding something together is exactly the opposite of mindfulness. The path is one of letting go, not holding together. The glass is broken, so let it be broken.

As for being able to handle the pain of the world: Yes, there is enormous pain in this world, and no, not all of it can be made sense of. This, however, is in the nature of who we are (at this moment in history) and can even be traced back to our animal origins, from before the time we could speak. You have control over none of it. If anything, your only control is over yourself. Let go of your expectations for the world, and live your values fully, both in your actions and in how you understand reality. You will soon find that the pain in the world is dwarfed by the love that is out there. When you learn to accept the pain fully, you may find yourself automatically accepting the love as well that you didn't even notice was out there.

 

[defect]

Thanks NewKarma, I see what you're saying. I feel I've been accepting and not rejecting the pain of the world and the realities of the world, but I'm thinking I'm probably minimizing the love. Love and pain are virtually the same, so it should be a natural step to remember.

 

[NewKarma]

Thanks NewKarma, I see what you're saying. I feel I've been accepting and not rejecting the pain of the world and the realities of the world, but I'm thinking I'm probably minimizing the love. Love and pain are virtually the same, so it should be a natural step to remember.

Yep, just remember that accepting the pain is not the same thing as dwelling on it (attachment to it). Also remember that this is a retraining process and that it'll take time to see big effects. Give yourself a fair chance, you've got your whole life to get to where you want to go.

 

[Daniel E.]

Also remember that this is a retraining process and that it'll take time to see big effects

Relatedly, life is naturally habituating, which is largely why older people are less stressed by negative events than younger people: http://forum.psychlinks.ca/positive-psychology/6361-older-may-mean-happier.html

---------- Post added at 02:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:50 PM ----------

I feel I've been accepting and not rejecting the pain of the world and the realities of the world, but I'm thinking I'm probably minimizing the love. Love and pain are virtually the same, so it should be a natural step to remember.

That may relate to a lack of trust, as well.

Professor Dacher Keltner at Berkeley thinks that maybe in 20 years, some drugs for treating depression will try to increase oxytocin. He believes that for many people, targeting oxytocin may be more helpful than SSRIs. For example:

Depressed women are more likely than controls to display a dysregulated pattern of peripheral oxytocin release. Further research is warranted to elucidate the clinical significance of peripheral oxytocin release in both depressed and nondepressed women.

Evidence of Dysregulated Peripheral Oxytocin Release Among Depressed Women -- Cyranowski et al. 70 (9): 967 -- Psychosomatic Medicine

One aspect of depression is the tendency to see and expect the worst in other people...

One of the reasons gratitude makes us happier is that it forces us to abandon a belief that may accompany severe depression--that the world is devoid of goodness, love, and kindness and is nothing but randomness and cruelty.

The Compassionate Instinct: The ... - Google Books

Oxytocin is already getting a lot of attention for future treatments of autism, schizophrenia, and social anxiety: Brain Trust

 

[defect]

Daniel - EXTREMELY interesting theory, or perhaps truth... Dysregulation is an appropriate word to choose and I feel like I totally relate to this concept. Personally, I find when I meet new people or the same usual strangers, from the grocery store clerk to the old lady walking across the street who shares a quick moment of her time chatting with me, I almost can feel the oxytocin flooding into my blood and body (I know I sound dramatic, but that's how it feels) and therefore I feel terrified of even making eye contact some days because I might be on the sadder side of the fence and the emotion of connecting to another human being is so ovewhelming it is hard to take when I seem to have very little control of how instantly I fall in love- for lack of a better term- with every stranger I come across. I always figured it was all the e's I used to do. Now I have no control over the o's. Hmm.