Isolated

[lilslugger]

i had a bad night last night. i self harmed to the point i'll have scars for the rest of my life. i was just so lonely. i have no friends and am too ugly for relationships. the girl i asked out for a coffee is my only hope for a friend. i keep worrying i will lose control and say something inapropriate to people and they will hate me or beat me up. this is what is keeping me isolated.

 

[Into The Light]

are you receiving any kind of counseling, lilslugger?

 

[angelikah]

i had a bad night last night. i self harmed to the point i'll have scars for the rest of my life. i was just so lonely. i have no friends and am too ugly for relationships. the girl i asked out for a coffee is my only hope for a friend. i keep worrying i will lose control and say something inapropriate to people and they will hate me or beat me up. this is what is keeping me isolated.

I'm sorry you had a bad night last night. Do you need medical attention for your cuts? If you do you should probably go to the emergency room. If you don't need medical attention have you washed the area with soap and water and put anti-biotic ointment on them? I know it's hard not having any friends. Feeling lonely can be so painful.

I'm here and listening lilslugger.

 

[lilslugger]

thanx for the replies, it means alot. yes im seeing a counsellor and i washed the burns. the cpn is not great i think i need cbt for my ocd as its the therapy of choice for ocd. the counsellor has never offered me any good advice he just says dont self harm it doesn't help. i think the problem is not self harm but ocd which causes self harm. anyway thanx for the replies.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Perhaps you need to look for another counsellor.

 

[forgetmenot]

I think i would bring up the topic again about your self harm and perhaps going on medication to help decrease the urges. If this councillor not will to go this route maybe see psychiatrist who will be able to prescribe meds for you.

 

[Eye Stigmata]

I can totally relate to how you feel. As a person who has SI alot...it's a way of control...for me anyways. I agree with David, I think you need to find a therapist that you really connect with....I went through so many therapits until I found one that worked for me, and she is amazing. The previous therapists I had would say the same as yours, "just don't SI", "It's uselss" blah blah.....they just didn't understand. Maybe try calling a helpline when you feel really low. I had to call a help line lastnight to prevent myself from SI. and honestly...it was much easier than I thought it would be. Just to hear another voice that doesn't know you, and who isn't going to judge you....Anyways hang in there!!
And don't worry about what you say or feel....your 'real' friends will be the ones who are there at the end of the day no matter what you do, say, feel......trust me! I've learned that one the hard way