[Trigger] It's ok to cry

[Eye Stigmata]

My Great Aunt died today...

I used to tell myself not to get so emotional over death...I thought it would make me stronger or something...I've been to more funerals than I can count on all my fingers and toes...and I eventually did become 'immune' to death...even friends dying didn't upset me as much as it should have...I got way too familiar with death....and eventually I stopped crying at funerals, I felt cold and emotionless...and angry. I would take it out on myself...I would cut myself every time someone died because I wouldn't get emotional and I felt like I needed to remind myself that I could feel something...that I was still a warm, pulsing, breathing body.

So for the past 2-3 years I haven't cried over death...It barely even hit me. I guess until my Great Aunt died...and I wasn't even super super close with her, but I never got to meet my grandparents...they died quite young, so it was like Aunt Janet 'was' my grandmother, she talked to me like I was another one of her grand-kids, snuggled me, ect ect. And she was very close to my mom...and being the last member of my grandmother's family...it was very hard on my mom to see her go...it was like, the last part of her family dying...So I guess I got so emotional because I saw a part of my mom dying...and I hadn't seen that in many other deaths that i'd experienced...I guess sometimes you just have to remind yourself that...It's ok to cry..

 

[NicNak]

It is for sure ok to cry. I do it more than I would like to admit.

I understand the emotional disconnect thing too. I get like that too, but every once in a while I burst with tears for seemingly no reason.

I am sorry to hear about your Great Aunt Janet dying :support:

 

[amastie]

Hi MM,

whether or not you are able to cry, be gentle with yourself. See if you can forgive yourself for not being able to cry. It's not the tears that are right, it's what's in your heart and, if you didn't care, you would feel the need to cut yourself.

Take good care :heart:

amastie

 

[sister-ray]

sorry to hear about your great aunt MM, :hug::hug:

 

[Into The Light]

i'm sorry for your loss, monkey munch :support:

 

[amastie]

Sorry, MonkeyMunch,
I didn't say it earlier. I too am very sorry for the loss of your aunt
Take good care :heart:

 

[Sparrow]

Hello MM,
My thoughts really go out to you.
Remember to take well care of yourself :support:
I'm quite sure your G. Aunt would have wished that.