Just at a loss sometimes

[HA]

My thoughts are with you, Auburn.

:grouphug:

 

[Auburn]

I feel like I am back at square one again. I am back to having anxiety whenever I am away from Dave. Today at work was brutal yet again. Talked to my manager so she is aware how bad it is again. And even though she is an amazing boss, I still feel like I am letting her down. I wish Dave was home. It feels like it is the beginning. And I am so tired. I am hoping I can sleep, I feel like I should be able to, but my brain is just spinning.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm sorry, Auburn. I wish I could say something that would make it ok. It's a long process, healing, and sometimes it feels worse than ever. Or at least this is what I'm finding.

Hang on, hold on.

Lots of hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[ThatLady]

Auburn, do you and Dave have cell phones, or email, or some other method through which you can stay in contact? Using such methods to reach out when you're feeling the need to have him close might be of help to you.

Just hang in there. You're helping each other through a very, very difficult time and that's never easy. You've both got a lot of courage, and that's something to be thankful for! :hug:

 

[Auburn]

It never ceases to amaze me how much comfort I find in here. And you all seem to find just the right words to say. I am really kind of sad tonite. I think that the fatigue has alot to do with it. The meds are helping me sleep at least. I will just be glad when I finally have some extra energy. I am finding my stress level is still high, and my coping skills somewhat lacking. I know it will change, but when you feel so raw, everything gets to you.
We are both fighting so hard to stay strong during this process, but darn, it is an exhausting thing. And as much as I have the best friends that want to help, this is just not something that I can share easily. They try to understand, but it is so hard for them even to imagine.
Thank you again for all your words. I depend on all of you, and if I can ever help with my words, I will do all I can. Love to all of you.

 

[HA]

Auburn,

Would a support group for people who have gone through a similar suicide experience be helpful for you?

We are hear to listen anytime you need to talk.

:grouphug:

 

[Auburn]

You could be right HeartArt. I should try that, it might help as well. Today was pretty good, until tonite. But that is not surprising, Dave goes to work at nite. Being alone is still not an easy thing. I guess I should say, being away from him is not easy. I wish I could call him at work, but his work is not understanding at all. In all actuality, I am pretty sure they don't give two "bleeps" about any of their employees. They gave him such a hard time when it all first happened. They couldn't understand why he needed to be off. For gawd's sake, it was his Dad. To add insult to injury, his insurance company didn't think this warranted time off! Can you believe that? And that is what started the financial spiral down. I am hoping that that changes on Fri. That will be one less stress, and maybe Dave can rest easy for a change. I want him to have a rest, and some peace. And I want him to enjoy life for a change, not just wander through it. He deserves more.

 

[NightOwl]

Auburn, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could say more but I can send you some caring thoughts and hugs. I hope these might help a little. One tip I've found very useful when I'm having a bad patch is I've got a drawer full of bits and pieces that I love - my husband every now and then will write a beautiful note for me and I keep these in the drawer with some favourite photos, short poems that I love, any book that I am reading at the time and there are quite a few other things that mean a lot to me, and I'll just go to that drawer and spend some time just looking through it.

Hugs to you both. :heart:

NightOwl

 

[Halo]

Auburn,

I just wanted to send some hugs your way and let you know that you and Dave are both in my thoughts and I know that together you will get through this.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Auburn]

Thank you NightOwl and Nancy. I can use all of those hugs.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Nightowl, that is such a neat idea.

More hugs for you, Auburn. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Hang in there.