Just feeling sad

[Murray]

I am not having any sort of crisis or anything, I am just feeling so sad. Everything seems so pointless to me. I get up and go to work most days. I even make the effort to talk to people and be pleasant when I am at work, but whenever I am not making a conscious effort to be "on" for people, I just feel so empty. I am getting absolutely nothing accomplished as I have no motivation to do anything any more. Every day I get up and tell myself that today will be different; that I will feel better and be productive. At the end of the day, though, I am once again beating myself up for wasting yet another day.

Now that the holidays are finally over and a new year has started I had hoped that I could tell myself that, that last horrible year was over and now I could start fresh. I had decided that I would stop wallowing in self-pity and snap out of it and become a happy and productive member of society again. Sadly, the new year has begun and I am still having to berate myself at the end of each day for once again failing. I guess this time of year is always bad for me. Between the reflections on the past year and the expectations for the coming year, it is all pretty depression, I guess.

It sounds stupid, I know, but it feels like there is a weight just pressing down on me most of the time. It takes so much effort even just to sit upright while I am typing this. The dumb thing is that I know if I could just get motivated and get some exercise and accomplish a few goals, that I would start to feel a bit better about everything. It is just so hard to make the effort even though I know I need to.

Anyway, I am not sure why I am posting this, I suppose I just wanted to get it out. Maybe since I wrote here that I need to snap out of it and that I know I need to exercise it might make me feel more inclined to do so. It's worth a shot I suppose, as sitting around wallowing hasn't helped so far.

 

[Daniel E.]

Some things I have used or am using now:

- Seeing a therapist more frequently
- Reading the book Feeling Good by David Burns
- Just reminding myself what I have accomplished that day, even if it's just 5 minutes of activity that was about today and not tomorrow
- using my iPod as music therapy and bibliotherapy (audio books), and to help keep me going during exercise, work, chores, etc.
- changing the environment, e.g. going out more frequently, catching some rays
- Using technology as persuasion by monitoring exercise amounts

Regarding beating yourself up, Feeling Good has at least a chapter about managing such self-defeating thoughts:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/self-est...belief-system-working-for-or-against-you.html

 

[Andy]

Hi Murray,
I'm sorry your feeling down and out right now. I have a question for you. lol
If someone, a close friend or family member came to you, and told you something similar to what you wrote here, would you tell them to just "snap out of it?"
I'm going to assume you wouldn't do that lol, so why do you tell yourself to "snap out of it?"

I don't know if your in therapy or not, but would it be something you would consider? Maybe you need to really deal with your depression, instead of telling yourself to get over it. I think that once that lift's a lot of your motivation will return.

I understand where you are coming from, I am in a similar spot right now. I have been trying to push myself to do a little something daily, but I don't have much motivation either.

I'm sorry if that's not much help. :support:

 

[Murray]

Thanks for the responses and suggestions.

I am currently seeing my therapist once a week, so I don't think that I could increase that.

I know that it is unrealistic to think that I can just snap out of it, but I just get so frustrated with myself because I can't do just that. Your right STP, I wouldn't expect anyone else to just snap out of it, but then again I wouldn't say a lot of the things that I say to myself to anyone else. Isn't it sad that we are often nicer to strangers than we are to ourselves? Oh well.

Daniel, I did plug in my ipod yesterday and do some cleaning. I definitely do find that music does often help improve my mood. Going outside would probably help, but I have a very difficult time being outside. So, although I know just sitting in the house just makes me more miserable, I usually can't bring myself to go outside without freaking out. I may see if I can get the book you recommended.

I am sorry to be so whiny all the time. Thanks guys

 

[Andy]

Your not whiny all the time, at all.

That is usually the way it works, treating others better. I am glad you have a therapist you are seeing weekly anyway.:2thumbs:

 

[Jazzey]

Daniel, I did plug in my ipod yesterday and do some cleaning. I definitely do find that music does often help improve my mood. Going outside would probably help, but I have a very difficult time being outside.

When I'm feeling like that Murray, I really push myself to go for a 10 minutes walk (with iPod of course ). Usually, by the time the 10 mins are up, I want another 10 minutes etc...For whatever reason, I do find it helps clear up the fog.

I am sorry to be so whiny all the time. Thanks guys

Not be whiny at all. Try and do something fun for yourself tonight -something you would normally enjoy: bath? comedy on tv? etc...

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Murray hope your feeling a little less sad tomorrow. Even if you open the door a bit and get some fresh air that helps. Don't laugh but i don't listen to music much but when i am really down sometimes i turn on a favorite song and just dance to it. Thats my exercise dancing a bit boy it sure wears you out. take care okay You never have to worry about posting how you feel okay because it helps to get the emotions out. take care.

 

[Murray]

Thanks guys,
I have to go to work today, so I will at least have to pretend to be okay, which sometimes helps me feel okay(sometimes). Luckily I am the boss, so if I am having too much difficulty I can always hide in my office Unfortunately, there are several problems that have to be dealt with today at work and I am dreading them.

It is so hard for me to go outside because I have panic attacks, but I can usually force myself to take a short familiar walk when I am at work. I am usually glad that I made myself do it, even though I am anxious the entire time.

Violet, I don't listen to music as often as I should, but I know that it does make me feel better. I don't dance, instead I sing- and I really, really shouldn't. You know the saying that someone has a face for radio, well I have a voice for silent films:lol: even my poor cats look askance at me when I sing, but it makes me happy. When I am feeling somewhat motivated, I will put in the ipod and clean the house while singing at the top of my lungs- it is pretty goofy.

Anyway, thanks so much for the support it is greatly appreciated.

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey Murray its good that you have work to help get you out and the singing that is something i do too. At work i whistle and sing to keep me calm the patients like it the staff lol say don't give up my day job. I hope your work goes well for you and you don't have to hide out too much something i do to. It is good sometimes to be the boss but i am sure the pressure is higher when in that position. take care today okay.

 

[Meg]

Hi Murray,

When I have things to do that I really don't want to I find it very helpful to break the job down into really small goals and reward myself after accomplishing 5 of them. You can make the goals as tiny as you need to to make them seem achievable. At this point if you're finding that it's even hard to sit up straight, "success" is going to look different to what it is for someone who is feeling fine.