Long week

[Rosa]

Its been a really long week or so..I feel like I'm in a constant state of panic and I can't really say why... thats not true, its stress related....but it does seem like my body/mind is taking things to the extreme. I have been sooooo close to cutting but haven't...I can't say I've ever come so close without actually doing it, but then again I've never been so determined not to cut. Instead I read the information here and tried most of the suggestions-some really helped but the urge was something I couldn't get passed. When all else failed I PAGED my doctor and you know what friends???...from someone who is always afraid because I wouldn't want to interupt him,,,,well it was the RIGHT thing to do. We talked and he adjusted my meds. I can't say its easy yet or that the urge is completely gone but I am determined not to cut again. Creating more pain just to stop the pain just doesn't make sense to me anymore, and if it gets bad again I will PAGE my doctor again. I am determined to learn to have more respect for myself...I wonder how you do that??? sorry I don't have all the answers yet but I'm trying.
As always
Rosa
Ps I should be on one of those amazing people shows afterall I'm 'convienced' I haven't been able to breathe right for most of the past week and yet I'm still here, Not to mention all the 'heart attacks' I've felt........

 

[ThatLady]

Congratulations on successfully combating the urge, Rosa! Kudos to you!

I got a bit of a chuckle out of your comment about not being able to learn how to have more respect for yourself. You HAVE learned it! You paged your doctor when you needed help! You've learned. Now, all you need is practice!

 

[Cat Dancer]

Rosa, that's really great. I'm sorry that it's been so rough, but it's good that you didn't cut. I think you are learning to have more respect for yourself.

 

[Mia713]

Wow!! Nice work Rosa. Your determination is an inspiration to me. Continue to stay strong.

 

[Rosa]

thanks friends...I'm really glad I got up the courage to page my doctor and stick this one out. The state of panic is really getting old but I did get short periods of relief today so hopefully thats a start. I appreciate everyones support.
In friendship
Rosa

 

[Holly]

Hi Rosa,
Kudo's to you, I just wanted to wish you all the best, take care.
Sorry it has been so difficult lately for you! Your in my thoughts!

 

[Thelostchild]

Rosa Im glad you got your meds ajusted maybe that will help with your depression and panic and fear and all. great job for not cutting.