Losing control

[Ashley-Kate]

Wel since forever hurting myself has been my way to cope and to deel with the tough stuff but i always had my limits...in a way...i also used my e-d to hurt myself an still do but latly it seems that thats just not enough.. i have been cutting myself again ..and burning myslef constantly and wellmy body bears over 50 scars because of it .. and it scares me to death. i told my psychologistbt all she does is asks me evry time i see her if it is as present and if so how present. i cana't take it anymore but i can't stop my body is my own personal punching bag but soon i will have no were else to cut or to bur .. i don't know how to stop please help.
ps. i hate how ppeople look at me and then think because i cut myself automaticly makes me some odd and dangerous person or evne sometime pitafull.. i ahte having to always punish myself.

yours trully
ashley-kate

 

[Eunoia]

ash, you need to let your psychologist know what's going on. and you need to let her know that it's not enough for you just to be asked whether si is "present". if you think things are getting worse and you don't know how to stop from harming yourself, then you need to learn how to do so but you can't do that by yourself, so you have to reach out. only you know what it is that you need and what kind of help/support/feedback it is that will get you to a point where you can work on learning to use other coping mechanims instead of si or your ed.
remember that it's a long road to recovery... and getting there will present you w/ challenges but you can learn to overcome them. you told me yourself that your psychologist said there will be times when it'll get better and times when it'll get worse and at first things will probably get a whole lot worse. remember? people who look at you like that don't understand what si or having an ed means. ignorance makes people react in mean ways and by putting a label such as "she's odd" on someone makes it justifiable for them b/c they don't understand. but there are people out there who do understand and don't judge you. those are the ones you have to reach out to. you're not odd, you're not dangerous to others, you're just lost.

 

[Heather]

I was told at one stage that sometimes we hurt each other because we can.

Let me explain:

As a child your choice was taken away from you, you grew up hurting from this which is understandable, and so you started to self harm/injure. This is you hurting yourself and not someone else hurting you! I do not know if this makes sense or if this is why you do it or what ever but I thought that I would point that one out.

Heather...