Loss of Voice

[rdw]

The most difficult part of battling the depression and the anxiety was the fact that I lost my "voice". No one would hear me. I would tell my family that I was tired, exhausted, did not feel like doing anything, did not feel like myself, was crying alot. Actually they were complaining that I was crying all of the time but they did not hear my message. I was told to snap out of it; quit feeling sorry for myself as I did not have any "real" problems; they were tired of my drama. That only made me feel worse, deepened my depression and caused me to draw further into myself and listen to those negative thoughts. It was the loss of my voice and the loss of myself as a person that has been the hardest to deal with over the last year. R

 

[Murray]

I really feel for you RDW. It can be so very hard when family and friends just don't hear us. Many people just do not understand depression and anxiety and think that it is something that you can just snap out of. Can't tell you how many times I heard that and all of the variations. I am so sorry that this is making your struggles more difficult. Are you getting treatment for your anxiety and depression?

 

[rdw]

Thanks Murray. Yes I am receiving help in the form of medication and counselling. It has been a life saver. I do not want to return to the negative dark feelings I had a year ago. People don't understand how horrible it is to be consumed by the thoughts and feelings of shame, hoplesssness and despair. Some of my family members believed it was a ruse to manipulate their feelings. Are you kidding me? Who would want to be in that state of mind? Not me - my life is beginning to have meaning again. I love my job again. I no longer wear a mask of happiness - I really am happy at times and am beginning to enjoy the activites I once loved. My biggest regret is that I did not tell the right people. I wasted three years of my life by sinking further and further into the depression. If anything this has made me a better person as I know to listen more and judge less.

 

[forgetmenot]

i am glad to hear you are beating the depression with medication and therapy I hope now your voice is being heard and your family understands