Chain Lightning
Member
Over a year ago I had an experience that has made me distant from my emotions...like I feel as if I can't feel emotions that are there.
A very special dog of mine (Ten) was murdered by some sick excuse of person I know, need I say more. I can't tell you how I felt, I can't fully acccess the memory of it, which is probably a good defense mechanism. I don't think I have ever felt that bad before.
I have had some breakthroughs where emotions are so strong I can feel them again, but they are only moments and only I have these flashing moments every now and then.
I've cried about it but its like I am so closed up I can't really cry like I need to. I just can't feel the same way about anybody or anything...its all distant, so close but I can't touch it. Frustrating. Every time I sort of cry I feel a little better, but not completely...I start crying and then just shut down and it goes away untouchable. Then there are times I will be laughing at something and then all of the sudden I stop and feel NOTHING. This happens with all other emotions as well.
I was also abused as a child...and really my entire childhood was complete misery...tho I didn't have this problem until Ten was killed.
So has this forever changed my life in a way that I will never feel emotions like I used to? Or do you think that its possible to feel them again?
BTW, here are some pictures of her, one is when I first met her.
Webshots - Desktop Wallpaper / Screen Savers
Chain Lightning
A very special dog of mine (Ten) was murdered by some sick excuse of person I know, need I say more. I can't tell you how I felt, I can't fully acccess the memory of it, which is probably a good defense mechanism. I don't think I have ever felt that bad before.
I have had some breakthroughs where emotions are so strong I can feel them again, but they are only moments and only I have these flashing moments every now and then.
I've cried about it but its like I am so closed up I can't really cry like I need to. I just can't feel the same way about anybody or anything...its all distant, so close but I can't touch it. Frustrating. Every time I sort of cry I feel a little better, but not completely...I start crying and then just shut down and it goes away untouchable. Then there are times I will be laughing at something and then all of the sudden I stop and feel NOTHING. This happens with all other emotions as well.
I was also abused as a child...and really my entire childhood was complete misery...tho I didn't have this problem until Ten was killed.
So has this forever changed my life in a way that I will never feel emotions like I used to? Or do you think that its possible to feel them again?
BTW, here are some pictures of her, one is when I first met her.
Webshots - Desktop Wallpaper / Screen Savers
Chain Lightning