Mental Health and Surrogacy

[Banned]

I have a friend who has two daughters, both of whom have healthy eggs, their husbands have healthy sperm, but they both have dud uteruses and neither can carry a baby to term.

I've offered to be a surrogate for both of them, and they are both strongly considering this. The research I've done states that if you are a surrogate you can't have ever been on anti depressants, nor can you have any history of depression or "psychiatric issues". Granted, this is if you go through an agency, which we wouldn't.

But...I'm wondering, if I'm "just" the rental housing for nine months - I have no genetic ties to this child, and a mental health professional said I was stable enough to do it, why would they object to "any" history of mental health issues? Especially if I was stable at the time and my doctor says I can go ten months without meds?

We're in the very early stages of discussion - my friends and I - I have an IUD that would have to come out, likely have to have hormone injections, etc...so it could be several years before this comes to fruition, if at all, but I need to do the research now and get some answers now...

 

[Murray]

Wow Turtle that is such an amazing and generous thing that you are thinking of doing. I don't know much about it, but I could see how the hormones and the situation itself could really pose some challenges, especially if someone has had a history of depression or mental illness. Even if you think that you are "just the rental housing" for that time period, I am sure that there would be a lot of complex emotions that would come into play.

 

[Daniel E.]

Though postpartum suicide is rare, it is certainly a concern, both ethically and legally, e.g.

Women who committed suicide after childbirth most often did so in the first month.

Suicide during pregnancy and in the first postnata... [BMJ. 1991] - PubMed result

Family fears for surrogate mother - Times Online

Mental illness may up risk of postpartum suicide | Reuters

And, of course, people who are deemed "unstable" are seen as more likely to change their mind, etc., in addition to being at greater risk for mental distress.

Also, it's not good for the fetus if the surrogate mother is stressed out.

why would they object to "any" history of mental health issues? Especially if I was stable at the time and my doctor says I can go ten months without meds?

Because relapse is the norm in psychiatry.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

if I was stable at the time and my doctor says I can go ten months without meds?

Going 10 months without meds any time in the foreseeable future would be a terrible decision for you, IMO.

 

[Banned]

As always, you guys raise some really critical issues that would need to be examined extensively if anything were to proceed.

As mentioned it would be several years (likely) before anything would happen, if at all, and who knows where I'll be at that time (mentally).

One of the most incredibly invaluable pieces of "advice" I ever received from someone (my vet, regarding my dog) has stayed with me and is something I constantly refer to mentally. When I was contemplating surgery for my dog, he said "You know Turtle, just because we can, doesn't mean we should." The profoundness of that comment has never left me.

Although it's way way way too early to do anything more than gather information, this might be one of those "just because I can, doesn't mean I should" situations.

You've given me lots to think about - thank you all.