David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Mom Searched Two Years For Diagnosis of Postpartum OCD
By Katherine Stone, Postpartum Progress
January 25, 2012
Every now and then I get an email from a mom that reinforces why we need so much more awareness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, even among physicians. I’ve reprinted Britta Brooks’ email here, with her permission:
I reached out and reached out again and again, but was told that I do not have depression. Because I took care of my household (a little too much, by the way … I cleaned and cleaned) and because I felt close to my daughter, my family physician said I didn’t have postpartum depression and that I should not worry about my visions and thoughts.
I thought I was going crazy. Maybe it was just in my head. It felt to me almost like I needed to know my own diagnosis to find the right doctor. I eventually talked to my OB/GYN — by that time my little girl was more than two years old — and he misinterpreted what I was telling him. I told him without sugar coating it what I visually saw (intrusive thoughts). I told him the truth because I was so desperate for help and thought I had nothing to lose, and the truth landed me in a closed psychiatric unit.
There, everyone treated me like a 2-year-old. It was tough to be heard there because they were like, “Oh, yes, we understand,” all the while acting like I was crazy and as if they had heard that story before. But I felt sane and really violated. Finally, thanks to my cell phone and my husband, I left the locked unit not long after I was admitted. I was finally able to see someone who listened and thought I had postpartum PTSD.
Now I have found someone who thinks I had or have postpartum OCD. Here’s the back story: At 24 weeks, I fell down eight steps in our townhouse. I went to the hospital and later found out I’d suffered placental abruption. From that time on I didn’t know whether my baby would be okay. My husband was in Iraq and I couldn’t call him. I am German and didn’t have any friends or family where I lived, because we had just moved to Indianapolis from Germany.
At 29 weeks I was placed on total bed rest due to preterm contractions and thankfully, since my husband is civilian, he was able to end his tour early to take care of me. I made it to week 36 and my little girl was born at 36 weeks and 3 days. The birth was not ideal — there were five failed vacuum assisted attempts, an emergency c-section, and my daughter had to be revived because she had no signs of life. She and I recovered physically really quickly, but my therapist said that my non-stop valid worries about her life and safety (during pregnancy and birth and afterward) developed into OCD. It makes sense to me. Now I just have to deal with it. It feels good to know the cause (the source of my postpartum OCD) besides knowing what I had (my horrible visions). Now, I am approaching the next step and I do feel that I can do this – it is just not easy, but you know that.
My daughter is 29 months old now and I was just diagnosed a few months ago! I so wish the OB/GYN’s would hand out information prior to birth to soon-to-be moms and dads with descriptions of the various postpartum illnesses, so that women and men wouldn’t have to walk in the dark searching for answers and help.
By Katherine Stone, Postpartum Progress
January 25, 2012
Every now and then I get an email from a mom that reinforces why we need so much more awareness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, even among physicians. I’ve reprinted Britta Brooks’ email here, with her permission:
I reached out and reached out again and again, but was told that I do not have depression. Because I took care of my household (a little too much, by the way … I cleaned and cleaned) and because I felt close to my daughter, my family physician said I didn’t have postpartum depression and that I should not worry about my visions and thoughts.
I thought I was going crazy. Maybe it was just in my head. It felt to me almost like I needed to know my own diagnosis to find the right doctor. I eventually talked to my OB/GYN — by that time my little girl was more than two years old — and he misinterpreted what I was telling him. I told him without sugar coating it what I visually saw (intrusive thoughts). I told him the truth because I was so desperate for help and thought I had nothing to lose, and the truth landed me in a closed psychiatric unit.
There, everyone treated me like a 2-year-old. It was tough to be heard there because they were like, “Oh, yes, we understand,” all the while acting like I was crazy and as if they had heard that story before. But I felt sane and really violated. Finally, thanks to my cell phone and my husband, I left the locked unit not long after I was admitted. I was finally able to see someone who listened and thought I had postpartum PTSD.
Now I have found someone who thinks I had or have postpartum OCD. Here’s the back story: At 24 weeks, I fell down eight steps in our townhouse. I went to the hospital and later found out I’d suffered placental abruption. From that time on I didn’t know whether my baby would be okay. My husband was in Iraq and I couldn’t call him. I am German and didn’t have any friends or family where I lived, because we had just moved to Indianapolis from Germany.
At 29 weeks I was placed on total bed rest due to preterm contractions and thankfully, since my husband is civilian, he was able to end his tour early to take care of me. I made it to week 36 and my little girl was born at 36 weeks and 3 days. The birth was not ideal — there were five failed vacuum assisted attempts, an emergency c-section, and my daughter had to be revived because she had no signs of life. She and I recovered physically really quickly, but my therapist said that my non-stop valid worries about her life and safety (during pregnancy and birth and afterward) developed into OCD. It makes sense to me. Now I just have to deal with it. It feels good to know the cause (the source of my postpartum OCD) besides knowing what I had (my horrible visions). Now, I am approaching the next step and I do feel that I can do this – it is just not easy, but you know that.
My daughter is 29 months old now and I was just diagnosed a few months ago! I so wish the OB/GYN’s would hand out information prior to birth to soon-to-be moms and dads with descriptions of the various postpartum illnesses, so that women and men wouldn’t have to walk in the dark searching for answers and help.
