Moving

[Ashley-Kate]

I am moving in about a month and it is just accuring to me now that if i leave like this i may not make it! i am scared my stress of moving and living on my own has caused my anorexia to intensify and for me to isolate myself even more. I now only see my psychologist every week and a half and my nutritionnist every month i see her in about 2 weeks. My psychologist is getting more and more worried as the date of my departure approches and i trully want to try to get better to try and eat a bit more but my fear not of gaining weight but of losing control is keeping me from that. I made it very clear to my psychologist and nutritionnist that i will not be going back into the hospital as i have been hospitalised over 6 times and have not gotten any results they plan on setting up a transfer when i move so that i have the same therapi when i move but the difference is that i don't know those people and i don't know any of my class mates that i will have when i move i wil be all alone and i don't know what to do to get my act together. I am losing control yet i feel that if i stop i will be out of control.. i am confused and i don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: moving

It's good they're setting up a support system for you when you move. I know it's scary and I know you feel confused. Maybe you could focus on the fact that you won't be totally alone when you move. You'll have a support system in place and even though you don't know the people, eventually you will get to know them. I know it's hard starting over.

 

[Halo]

Re: moving

I think Janet is right. It is a good thing that you are getting a support system set up for when you move. Although you are not going to know these people right off hand, you will have at least some people that are there to help you out and will know your history a bit. And don't forget that you always have us to drop in on. We will also be here even when you move.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: moving

thanks i realy needed something to boost my moral up a bit i feel very exhausted latly and just so tiered fo fighting these stupid thought in my head

 

[Into The Light]

how are you doing now, a-k?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

not soo good actually more we approch the date of my departure the worst i feel and get! my shrink is hesitating on leting me leave or keeping an eye on me till the very last day and maybe considering hospitalisation. i amlosing controle over everythign and i ca'T stop this from getting worst i am soo tiered.. i am plannign on quitting on of my jobs cause i can't take the two of them anymore. My shrink is now wanting to see me every 3-4 days and i see my nutritionnist for the last time on monday of next week cause she is going on vacation after. I am scaring myself cause i can't stop.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I can relate as I struggle with eating disorders too. It sounds like your doctor thinks your health is being compromised. I know you said hospitalization hasn't really helped in the past, but maybe you could give it one more shot just to get stablized a little bit. If that's what your doctor thinks is best. I was recently hospitalized and it was for depression, but the regular meal schedule and dietician's advice really helped me a lot. It helped me at least get to a point of not being so starved and tired and weary of everything.

It is a scary thing to go through. Loss of control. Loss of self. Loss of so many things.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

yeah i know what you mean about the help in the hospital of a nutritionnist but the thing is that help i already have it as an out patient and i can't get hospitalised now especially that i am starting school very soon and i am moving as well my dorm room is already payed off and everythign so i can't just cancel it. basicly it has been 2 years since the last time i was hospitalised and i don't want to go back to that i hated it it was really a terrible experience for me and i don't want to go through that again.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Will you have the help of a nutritionist at your school? What is your support system going to be like? I know you said your psychologist is helping set up a transfer. Does this mean a whole team of people to help you?

I think it's normal to be scared of a new place. Just try to give the new system a chance. I'm sorry the hospital was such a bad experience.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

i am not sure yet abotu the transfer with another nutritionnist i know that i see my nutritionnist on monday and that she was considering transfering me that percises day cause it is the last time i am going to see her but i havne't really informed myself much about that but i know that at the school the psychologist that works there also does referals and there is a public clinic with nutritionnist and psychologist and social workers closes to my college and that is probably were i will be going. but i will know more monday as to if i am going to have someone or not but seeing how i haven't seen my nutritionnist in the last month and that it has been a month that i have been in a very restrictive phase my psychologist having been seeing me on a weekly basis has no doupt that my nutritionist will either transfer me right away or hopitalise me depending on my weight and my vitals.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I hope it all works out for the best for you, Ashley.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

well i am moving in 2 weeks and i have suddenly suprisingly gained a lot of confidence i know that it won't be easy but i also know that i am in control of me and that if i really believe in myself i can make this work

 

[Halo]

AK,

I am glad that you are feeling more confident in yourself and the move :yahoo:

Goodluck with it :goodluck:

 

[Into The Light]

that's great to hear :goodjob: :yahoo:

 

[Ashley-Kate]

yeah and i also found out that my roomate is going to be moving in earlier than she said so i won't be in th eroom alone and therefore i wil have someone with me always and well i am going to spend the first 2 weeks before school getting to know her and vice versa.. i am looking forward for the move, iu received an e-mail from my shrink saying that she is going to transfer me to someone in montreal cause she knows i need support and that makes me feel ver y safe as well just the hole having to start all over with someone new won't be too fun cause my shrink told me that she is not going to send her all the info about me cause she wants me to tell her things on my own terms .and when i feel comfortable enough to do so. i am nervous but it i s a good nervous my psychologist also is going to stay available for me when i come home to visit so everything seems to be getting into place.

 

[Halo]

Everything does sound like it is falling into place and that is great :2thumbs: