My Nephew

[Cavi]

Wasn't sure where I should post this...

My oldest brother's son and I had a decent relationship out of all my neices and nephews...His mother treated him horribly and my niece like a queen...
My brother favored my niece so he never defended my nephew...

Ryan like me, has a learning disability...When he was here one summer, him and I went fishing together and had long talks...My SIL hated the fact that i paid ryan attention, she wanted me to worship the ground my niece walked on...Not in this life time!...My niece treated my mom awful and when they came to visit my parents, my niece would tell mom that the only reason mom was allowed to go somewhere with my niece and my SIL was because they needed my mom to drive, if it wasn't for that, mom wasn't allowed to go...
(And yes she would say stuff like that in front of her mother)...

Grrrrr, I can't get started about my niece...

Anyway back to Ryan and the reason for this thread...

When my parents died, Ryan took it very hard and he turned to me to talk to before he went back up North...I emailed him a few times but if my SIL intercepted the emails, she would delete them without telling Ryan...

In 2000 I got worried about Ryan and I called my brothers to talk to him and my brother answered and said Ryan moved out because he got married...
I was dumbfounded that Ryan didn't contact me to share his good news...

My brother refused to give me Ryan's phone number, so I have no way of contacting him but Ryan can me...All my brother would say was that ryan got a place near him...I haven't heard from Ryan since 1999...The town they live in is small and the paper there is the town gossip rag...You want to know ANYTHING about people there, this paper has got it...

A year ago, (maybe a little longer) I started bringing it up online to read, thats how I found out my niece got married and that she had a baby...

Today I was reading it and what do I read but a birth announcement and the parents being my nephew and his wife PLUS it mentioned them already having a 3 year old...I am extremely hurt that Ryan has forgotten about me...

Also because my brother didn't have the decency to call and let me know anything about the kids...I also found out 6 months ago that my Aunt is dying from breast cancer through this paper!...My brother stays in contact with her alot and he chose not to tell me that either!!...

Ya know, my family sucks......................RIMH

 

[David Baxter PhD]

SIL = sister-in-law?

my family sucks

Sometimes, that's just the painful truth. And that's why so many people struggle in their relationships with family members when if they were unrelated people they wouldn't think twice about dumping the stress and walking away...

 

[Cavi]

Yeah SIL=Sister In Law I've for the most part had walked away except for my nephew, was still holding on to him but now I'm done with the whole friggin family...................RIMH

 

[Into The Light]

have you thought about maybe contacting him and asking him what happened?

from experience i can say that one's life becomes very busy and hectic once children start to arrive. it's not an excuse, but it is something that happens.

 

[Cavi]

I have no address, no phone number, or email addy for him...I asked my oldest brother to give me my middle brother's email addy and he wouldn't give it to me...I wanted it so maybe he would give me Ryan's address or phone number...I understand what your saying LB, but it's also possible he's not contacting me because of his mother making his life miserable if he did and she found out...(I don't know how she would but)...

It hurts like heck to walk away but I also don't want to cause him problems with his parents, he got enough grief from them when they found out he spent time with me that summer....RIMH

And what started this stupid feud was the fact when I was a teen before I met K, I married a Puerto Rican and I am white...Also the fact that I chose a lesbian relationship and didn't have kids...talk about ridiculous!........

 

[Lilhelp]

And what started this stupid feud was the fact when I was a teen before I met K, I married a Puerto Rican and I am white...Also the fact that I chose a lesbian relationship and didn't have kids...talk about ridiculous!........

Hi Running,

I'm only new here so I hope it is alright if I join in. I kinda think I know how that goes. I may be wrong, but from experience.

No matter what age your nephew is and family and all he has to live near his family in that small town. Even if you guys spoke or wrote eachother privately he may say something regarding them or vice versa which down the road can come out he was in contact with you.

Children never, ever forget a kindness. That includes teens. I am certain he loves you. He just has to watch out for himself. You hit the nail on the head with his mom. Another words she lives near him and you don't. He needs a babysitter or a loan or whatever it's his family that is close by. If that makes sense?

I'm from a family where race mixing will get you disowned so I can sort of grasp what that fued was about. Same sex relationships though would be welcomed and embraced. The really weird thing is if your partner is of another race then it's a CYA LATER. Crazy stuff.

Your nephew sounds like a good guy. I'm sorry for your heartache. This is just me but it sounds like his mom has alot to hide. Did you try that search thing called Switchboard.com? I know someone found somebody that way for their addy. Just a try anyway.

That gets me when people judge because you have chosen not to have children. Some of the very best parents I know are gay/lesbian. The only person other than my parents I trusted to babysit my daughter was my friend and her partner, and I knew she was in great hands.

Beautiful dog you have on your avatar too. Hope it works out for you. I know my one nephew is my heart. I mean a sweet, compassionate human being, and sometimes he won't call me back or write me if something is going on at home with his parents. He waits till it blows over. Everybody got secrets I tell ya.