My parents hate me and I don't know what to do

[Yuray]

I looked at many of the elementary and senior schools in Palantine, and found they all had school counsellors.

I think that if i get this sorted out, lots of things will get better.

I don't think you are equipped with the skills required to work things out with your parents, (and niether are your parents) despite your valiant efforts. You seem to cry a lot when talking to you parents. You may not be depressed (through your self diagnosis), but you may have othe issues that cause the crying that you are punished for.

But can you tell me some stuff i can say to my parents to decrease the workload and their expectations and to let me do more stuff?

Yes...here's what to say... "can you decrease my workload and your expectaions and let me do more stuff". No one in here will offer exact words and sentences, but we will all urge you to talk to a third party without your parents present. I doubt that if you take the time to phrase your requests to your parents with well chosen words and good intent it will change things much. From the way you describe them, they don't sound open to input, and often respond to you in abusive ways.

You cannot do this 'family repair' on your own. You are assuming if you 'change', somehow things will get better. You are all part of the same problem.

I just want to know what i can say to lift their expectations on me.

Say this....."can you lift your expectations on me?". This won't work, but a third party can see what the problems are, and how to fix them. It's obvious you all have problems with expectations from the other. Your shoulders are not broad enough to assume the workload you want to bear.

Have a look at these links
palatine illinois child counselling - Google Search=

palatine illinois family counselling - Google Search

If you truly want to make things better, you have to take the first step. A big job for a 12 year old, but you have displayed yourself as above average

Step one: school counsellor. No if ands or buts

Here is a number in your home town area to call if things get out of hand
Child Abuse Hotline (800) 25-ABUSE,

 

[savethegame]

Ok, i will TRY a school counsellor, and see what happens. And one more thing-how do you know where i live?

 

[Yuray]

Good
Remember though, the first time you ate liver, it tasted terrible, but it's good for you.

I know where you live because moderators in here have special powers. They are top secret, and used for the benefit of mankind. All moderators swear an oath never to reveal the divine source of this power.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Non-special powers explanation: The vBulletin forum software records the IP addresses of members posting and this is available to moderatorts and administrators. We don't know where you live, exactly; we only know the IP address you're using to access the internet, which will tell us the country, usually the state or province, and approximately the city or town, depending on things like population density.

Primarily, this feature is used to identify and ban spammers.

 

[CarlaMarie]

I like the superpower explanation. Go to your guidance counselor savethegame. You deserve it. Do you know how many of us have kept quiet and suffered. When secrets are kept they fester and grow. You know what is happening isn't right. It will only get worse not better as you get into being a teenager. They will want to control you more and you will want to rebel. Yuray is right you are trying to solve these problems and you are just a kid. You need a grown up. We can support you through the process. I have made calls to CPS on kids behalf before so I know the languang and the process if the councelor should decide to do that.

 

[savethegame]

good news- i just had a talk with my parents!!!!!!!!!!!!



i was very nervous, but i just told them that i am putting my best efforts, i don't like and don't deserve to be hit, and that's why i was crying etc etc...
believe it or not, they actually said they were sorry and understood, but they will stop. They said that it was for the good of me, and i believe them.
I dont know what will happen now, i will wait a week or so and post. If nothing happens, i WILL go see a counselor at school, but i just want to wait.

is that fine? if it isn't tell me, and i will do what you say
i just want to wait and see.

I never thought that i would actually have a talk with them, but i did and i feel better.

Thanks for all the advice everybody.

 

[forgetmenot]

Wow good for you for getting that courage to speak with your parents. No hun it was not for the good of you they are wrong there No one deserves to be slapped or yelled at because they did not meet someone elses expectation of them. I hope they do understand now but if the abuse continues you will have to talk to a councillor okay Let hope they heard you and understand what they were doing was harming you more then helping hugs.

 

[Yuray]

I think you should still talk to the counsellor. Let him/her know of your undertaking. He/she will give you some guidance in to what is going on, and your next step. Well done.

 

[CarlaMarie]

You found your voice. Wow. That's great! That must have felt empowering. That took courage. No one can mess with you. So now you notice to see if they can stop. If they can't you are out of your league it is a grown up problem and takes grown-ups to solve. Your job will be to hand the problem to an adult.:2thumbs:

 

[savethegame]

Believe it or not, it is going well. for the past three days, i have not been hit or called anything, and i haven't cried at all. They are letting me do more things i want to do, and are not calling me bad stuff and say i am not putting any effort into this.

I will keep noticing, in case of something.

thanks

savethegame

i would like to have superpowers like the moderators.

 

[CarlaMarie]

:rofl:

 

[savethegame]

what's that?

 

[forgetmenot]

I think Carla Marie found your statement of having moderators powers very funny you made her laugh I thought it was very cute too. hugs

 

[Yuray]

i would like to have superpowers like the moderators.

You have to be 13 to enjoy the 'powers'!

 

[CarlaMarie]

Yah, I think the superpowers are too funny. I am truely happy things are working out for you. :dance2: (the smiles are cool, right?)