My plan is not working

[adaptive1]

My idea of staying away from what ever I am obsessing about has not been working. Limiting my exposure to the things I am obsessing about has only made me obsess about them more, which I didn't think was possible. I try to,practice the four steps and I feel mentally drained from the amount of work this requires.

My symptoms are scaring me and but yet I know it's just anxiety and I will be ok.

If I had just gone to a doctor when this first started and not climbed on this OCD train again I am sure I wouldn't be going through this again. When will I ever learn that I don't have to worry myself to this point. I guess I should have listened to the counselor when she said I should go to a psychiatrist.

 

[forgetmenot]

Are you able to call your councilor and set up another appt with a psychiatrist.

I think it would help you to have some professional support to get the OCD thoughts under control hugs

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Also, please remind me: What medications are you taking currently, if any?

 

[adaptive1]

I am not taking any medication, maybe that's part of the problem. I am not sure if I need it or I am just making myself worse by the amount of worrying I am doing. Like maybe I don't have a problem I am just inducing one with my thoughts.

 

[W00BY]

It never hurts to go and speak to someone!

Go see the psychiatrist.

I full understand why you feel as you do about hesitancy with going, whether you really need it etc

I felt like that and felt all that was wrong with me was depression, I turned out to be wrong.

Seeing the Psychiatrist is truly not one of the high points of my life, in fact, I'd like to forget, but I am glad I went.... so much has changed for me since!

 

[adaptive1]

Thank you for the replies, I am sure it sounds silly to be afraid of these types of doctors but I always have been. There was mental illness is my family growing up and I suppose the fear stems from seeing my siblings act in scary ways and my brother having to live in an institution where he lived most of his life until he passed away. I know our situations are different but I guess the fear of the doctors is there from the things my parents would say about what awful care he got from the doctors.

I will try to muster up the courage to go, I'm sure the option is still there if need be and the counselor said she was going to be speaking to them about me anyway. I'm not sure why really, but I guess if she thinks I need it, and compares my behaviour to alcoholism. I don't know what she means by that as I don't drink.

 

[adaptive1]

I feel like something is seriously wrong with my mind at the moment and I feel alarmed but I suppose it's just anxiety and it cant hurt me. All day people are trying to talk to me at work and I can only focus on what I am obsessing about as though my mind has split in two and I can hear bits and pieces of what people are saying, as though they are a radio station that keeps losing the station. I really have no idea what people are saying and I feel trapped inside my head. I keep telling myself to snap out of it and relax and that there is nothing wrong with me but I am not so sure anymore.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There clearly is "something wrong with you", adaptive1, but that doesn't mean you're "crazy" or "losing your mind".

It does mean, however, that for your own sake you need to get back into therapy and, in my opinion, back on medication at this time in your life.

 

[adaptive1]

I have taken your advice and thank you for the encouragement. I had an appointment yesterday and said I would go for the assessment which is likely to be in a few weeks. She doesn't think I am losing my mind either but she thinks I need medication and I am not doing well, that was hard to hear. I did not mean to become obsessed again, I was trying to be healthy.

 

[W00BY]

I hope this goes well for you,

And well done taking a very brave (and not that easy) step!

*informal polite hugging*