My treatment at EDCD so far

[Thelostchild]

I have been in this Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) for four days now and every day is a struggle. I think I have cried or have been emotional every day that I have been there. And it is so hard to have people looking at you while you try to consume your food. They say that if you don't eat all of your food then you get this drink called Boost. Well I got Boost today. I guess it was better then what they served me. But I'm glad I'm there - that way someone can help keep me in line/

This is their website if you're ever seeking treatment: Treatment of Anorexia, Bulimia and other related disorders, Eating Disorder Center of Denver

 

[Jazzey]

Thanks TLC. I'm sorry you're finding it so hard. But I'm still very happy that you decided to do this for yourself.

It looks like a very good program...

 

[amastie]

Thinking of you also TLC :hug:
It is a strong thing to stay there as you need it. :support:

 

[suewatters1]

Keep up the good work
I bought Boost last year. I was told by the Pharmacist that it taste better then Ensure. I bought a 6 pack of the chocolate one. I just shake it a lot while I am drinking it so that it stays mixed well.
It is good to get your emotions out. it's like your releasing the pain inside.

Wishing you the best

Sue

 

[Andy]

TLC:support:, I'm sorry your struggling. I know it doesn't seem like it but It will get easier. I have never had boost but I use to have to have an Ensure 3 times a day when I was in hospital. Those things are nasty. The only "flavour" I could actually manage to choke down was the vanilla and it was still nasty.
I can understand not liking to have to be watched while you eat. Ugh.
I'm glad your sticking to it. That is awesome. :support:

 

[Thelostchild]

It doesn't matter what you say to them what ever it is that your feeling while your sitting at the table with the other girls whom are also having troubles eating there meals as well, but all they do is try to encourage you to eat and if I don't eat I suck it up and drink to boost as soon as everyone leaves the dinning room. It hard to think positive while along the way you have all these negative thoughts going through your head. And you can't leave the table you cry you do it in front of everyone it sucks and it emmbarrasing

 

[Ashley-Kate]

hello,
i was in a program about 3 years ago a day program but the nights i spent in the inpatient program and they also used the boost at both places, mostly because it provides your body with the nutriences you need but also it helps your body get used to eating the sufficient amount of calories and when you can't finish your meal for whatever reason your body doesn't get used to eating normally so the boost helps for that.

While you are eating you are correct they don't really sit and talk to you about what is going through your mind because there is a couple other girls living hard times too and you are not the only one the fun thing about being with other girls is that you can encourage them and they can do it for you. I remember on my first day when i saw the meal that we had to eat and finish i was completly freeked out and mostly thought they were all out of their mind. the day i got my first boost i felt discouraged but they took the time to explain it to me and it helped me understand i was not happy with the idea but i forced myself to at least understand.

I am currently havng a hard time and my brother is doing his very best to help me and we have went back to the hospital ways, he has bought boost like when i was at the hospital, and when i can't eat anything i have to drink 2, and if i finish at least half of my meal i drink only one.. i am still at 2 but i am getting there. i realised that even though i dont feel happy and my life feels pointless i am not al there and for me to make a clear decision on my life i need to eat.

SO good luck believe in them because they do know what there doing and i have been there and your program seems a lot like the day program i was in and when i was in it i was doing great and when i left i did great as well you just have to keep fighting!

 

[Andy]

Whether you cry or not just remember that all the other people (girls) that are sitting with you are more than likely feeling the same as you or have been at the same point in their recovery as you at one time so they understand. It will get easier. It's a slow and hard process but it does get easier. :support:

 

[Thelostchild]

Yes its a very hard slow emotional process. It emotionally draining by the end of the day I just want to sleep and Im there all day and have no free time to do much.. I to encourage the other girls there as welll. which I think helps me to...

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Yeah these programs are so intense the average person that doesn,t deel with an eating disorder could not understand how hard it is emotionnaly to fight the disorder cause whenyou are there you have to eat you have to fallow the program wich in some ways many is not what the disorder wants every thing you do there is against what that little voise in our head has been lecturing to us over the past years so it is hard to fight against it it is kind of like when your mom as a child tells youthat you should not swear or be mean and thenall of the sudden someone tels you you have to be mean you have to do something that goes against what you think is okay and right. the difference in this is that you have to realise that the little concience in your head is not you but a disorder and the external voices are the ones you need to fallow. breaking the laws you have been living by and venturing into something different and unknown is really hard but ou can do it every day it will seem like a never ending battle but more days that go by the more you will feel impowered and strong and then finally proud of what you are doing!

 

[Thelostchild]

Well my insurance ran out in the Inpatient so I have taken a step down, Im now in Intensive out Patient im there everyday except sunday for four hours. One meal and a couple group sessions. Im kind of glad im out of the PHP but not really. Some times I just don't know if im ready for the IOP but Im doing what ever my insurance will allow...my hubby is really supportive and cooks for me, goes with me as he works close by because denver is a mad house to drive in. I am registered for college again and im starting to feel a little overwhelmed but I know I can do it and with my hubbbies help it won't be to hard

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Wishing you good luck with the rest of this journey, TLC. :2thumbs:

 

[Jazzey]

Also lending my support TLC.

 

[Halo]

Yes, good luck with your continued recovery

 

[Thelostchild]

Thank you everyone

 

[texasgirl]

My thoughts are with you TLC! Take care,

TG :friends: :support:

 

[Thelostchild]

Well Im back in the (PHP) Partial Hospitalized Program.. don't know how I feel about that so that is where I am at right now

 

[Halo]

Glad to hear that you are continuing on your road to recovery...keep it up :2thumbs:

 

[Thelostchild]

Its been really hard since they have bumbed up my meal and at every meal im so over whellemed and anxoius and never can finish it. And Im also going through some body image issues. Im not really liking the way I look but its for the good just one more thing I need to over come.

 

[Halo]

Are you working in therapy on the body image issues, TLC? Have you discussed how overwhelmed you are feeling with the increased meals? As you said yourself it is probably for the good but definitely difficult I am sure.

Keep it up though...you are doing great :goodjob: