Narcissistic grandmother

[poppy111]

After years from the family home, i returned... with 2 children and a partner. A house, dogs, cats... i bought a house she chose. in an area she liked. 400miles away from what i was used to. In an isolated area with no-one around to help me if i needed it other than her.

at the time, i was doing it, because i felt guilty and i needed to put right a relationship which was broken when i went to university.

Now that i am back. and she takes a dislike to my partner i can see with my eyes wide open how she carelessly attempts to persuade me to her way of thinking.

that my partner is no good, that he is ruining me. that he is using me. that he'll one day kill me....

when i dismiss her... and decided that i was better than being belittled by her, and i realised she has a narcissistic personality i took a step back... and for the first time i watched exactly how she played the game.

oldest sister- the best child marries a high ranking member of society, this character is molded and manipulated and appears to have a fantastic relationship with his mother in law. a child is born, and the grandmother is jealous of any relationship the other grandmother will have. cracks start to appear between son in law and mother in law. until the climax results in a melt down, everyone taking sides and accusations flying.

Son in law gets a job abroad... he goes... he buys a house abroad for wife and child... he returns, to find bailiffs, his house is empty and his prize possessions are gone, sold... to the father in law. son in law, has no identity anymore. divorce is filed for. other parts of the story are posted earlier.

 

[Darkside]

Sometimes it is best to put distance between ourselves and family members when we become aware of the dysfunctional relationships. Can you say why you had to move back?

 

[poppy111]

i moved back so that my partner would be given consent by my father to marry me. to me it meant alot. and we found that they were making him jump threw hoops, do this do that... we thought that moving back would create the family unit for our children, and the family always seemed so happy when we visited. prior to moving.
i had my 2nd child, and within weeks, she was telling me he was no good, he was this he was that, she ground me down one day so much, that i just said ok then i'll leave him... and then she realised because i'm not married, i dont own our house. and with that line of thinking she back tracked.

i wanted my child to have a relationship with her grandparent, but this relationship is fragmented and not consistent. my child loves her grandparents, but she looks at her as if she is intimidated and frightened. my child loves her cousins too. But they are children, they must remain in the other room, they must be silent and they must be polite. they can not talk at the table. they cant tell her no. she will smack them and discipline them... just the stare is all it takes. she has also said things to my child about her father and catagoricaly denied it when my child has confided in me. Telling me that my child is a liar, and just like my sibling. the black sheep of the family.
When i became aware something was wrong and i was putting my child in harms way i instantly withdrew my child from the situation. This then became manipulative fro both my siblings and my mother, if they saw me and my child they would ask if they could take her with her cousins, they would tell her that she has missed a holiday because of me, or that she didnt go to a party because i didnt tell her. If my sibling take my child from me, when i collect her... she is hysterical and doesnt want to come with me.
the less i see the happier i am, and the more my child asks to see her cousins. who live with grandma.