Nervous about seeing my Psychiatrist

[NicNak]

I am going to see my Psychiatrist on Monday November 10th.

Last time I saw him, I had to get him to fill out a work form. Work wanted information regarding my illness to try to accompodate me. I had been off work for 3 weeks prior to this on a sick leave. He had suggested I try and go back to work the next day, but I never got a chance to talk to him much as he was filling in this questionaire for my work. I left the office in pieces and contemplated finishing myself off while I was in the washroom in the hallway, but thought better of it.

I did go to work the next day, got through the day but crashed really bad in the evening. I had awoken the next 2 days with terror like I had never felt before. I was not wanting to hear the disapointment in their voices at work when I called in, I couldn't get my head around how I was feeling. I really wanted to die, if it ment I had to go there. I had never felt this before. Has anyone else felt a terror before? It isn't even like my worst panic attack, it was like I was so scared I felt I had no other options

I have posted about a co worker at my previous location. He pinned my office chair to my desk while I was typing and pushed his hands between my upper arms and body, while I struggled saying no. This happened exactly to the time last year, I figured out later.

I called work and booked off until I could see my family doctor and she wrote me a note saying I was "currently considered disabled".

I nervously took the note into work that day. I faxed a copy to my Psychiatrist incase my work contacted him questioning it. With a note saying "I am terrified, I am sorry I can't go there anymore"

My concerns are, when I see him I am afraid he is going to think it is like a Mommy against Daddy thing, which it is not.

I think I am just feeling insecure about it, but I don't want to think I defied him. I am also afraid he won't support me being off.

He had said that day, it is either you try to work or go on disability. I told him I wanted to try and work. He said working is good for me as it keeps me within the community and social. Which I can completly understand.

I tried and couldn't get past the terror. I am so afraid he will be mad at me and that he will want me to go back.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Retired]

I am so afraid he will be mad at me and that he will want me to go back

Your psychiatrist is be a professional who should not judge you, but rather should help you choose the right course of action that will lead to your successful treatment.

Do you have any reason based on previous experience with this doctor to make you feel intimidated?

I left the office in pieces and contemplated finishing myself off while I was in the washroom in the hallway

Have you talked to your psychiatrist or toy our family physician about your suicidal feelings?

Do you have a family of close friend who you can call when you have suicidal feelings?

When you have suicidal thoughts, please keep the number of a local crisis center handy so you call call them immediately for help.

Here is a list of crisis lines in Ontario, with several numbers for the Greater Toronto area.

 

[NicNak]

My Psychiatrist is nice to me. I just heard before that if patients start to become "too much work" that Psychiatrists are dropping their patients. Since there is paper work for my employer and stuff I got scared. I told him and he said "I never want you to worry about that, it won't happen with me" I guess in the back of my mind it is there.

I did tell my GP that I was having thoughts of suicide and hurting myself because of the terror I was feeling. That is why she wrote me off as "currently considered disabled".

I just get scared that people don't believe me. I have to keep remembering what my GP said to me about that. She said "If I believe anyone with what they say, it is you. You have been seeing me the entire time you have been coping with this and you have never took advantage, that I know" She then told me that "both your Psychiatrist are on your side, never forget that. We have your best intersts in mind, believe and support you"

I have been coping with his for 12 years now and never took more than 2 weeks of a sick leave, until now. My GP praised me telling me how well I do and said I shouldn't feel bad for having to take sick leave or even if I need to take disability.

I am just afraid he won't believe in me is all. I have felt scared to see him before when things happened and it seemed to bother me more than him. lol

I am just worried cause my GP wrote me off a week after seeing him, but there wasn't much of a choice if I really think about it. :fool:

Here I am making something out of nothing again......except this time I actually posted for people to see. :rant:

I am embarassed cause if I would have sat and thought about it more, I would have figured it out. Without worrying others about it.

 

[Sparrow]

He had suggested I try and go back to work the next day, but I never got a chance to talk to him much as he was filling in this questionaire for my work. I left the office in pieces and contemplated finishing myself off while I was in the washroom in the hallway, but thought better of it.

Make sure he has the time of day?...chance to talk? DEMAND that he gives you time. Let them know ahead of time you need an hours long appt. And if he can't accomodate you, find someone else who can.

I left the office in pieces

does not sound very constructive, though it might in some situations.

 

[Retired]

both your Psychiatrist are on your side, never forget that. We have your best intersts in mind, believe and support you"

That pretty well says it all! You have caring compassionate physicians who want to help you. Your job is to communicate clearly what you need and how you are feeling.

Your doctors won't know how to help you unless you tell them, each and every time you see them.

Keep that crisis line number on hand for when thoughts of suicide recur. If you feel you are in danger, call 911.

 

[NicNak]

Thanks Sparrow and TSOW for your input and assistance.

 

[Into The Light]

i think you'll be ok sparrow. both your doctor and psychiatrist are there to help you, and just because you had one write you a note instead of the other doesn't really matter. it's who you were able to speak with at the time.

if you want you can even bring this up with your psychiatrist but i'll leave that up to you whether you feel that would help or not.