Never The Truth

[David Baxter PhD]

Never The Truth
By cre8pc on growing up
September 9, 2009

When I was young
I despised Me

Me was this body I disconnected from at every opportunity.
Me was a little girl, pixie haircut, bangs cut too high.
Me was the girl they called ?Slut? because of a rumor.

That wasn?t true.

Old me never thought she was pretty.
Old me hated math, science and brussel sprouts.
New me likes science now.

It doesn?t have to be true.

Young me had big sparkling eyes. When I look at her now, in photos, she is so pretty.
Young me didn?t have breasts the size of watermelons. Rode horses bareback and bra-less. So free.
Young me swore every one was luckier, smarter, sexier and loved.

That was never the truth.

Old me was so perfect
but only God knew it back then.

New me knows better now.

 

[Fiver]

This reminds me a lot of the poetry of Paul Zimmer.

 

[forgetmenot]

Poem really strikes a cord how young girl disconnects, "I despised me" i am glad she sees now differently i hope to someday see as well "It was never the truth" I am sure alot of people can relate

 

[GDPR]

I have been working on taking an honest look back at all the messages I received and all the things I believed about myself as a child.I say ' honest' look because when I have tried to do this before all the old feelings consumed me and I would just convince myself they were true.

The truth is,I am not any of the negative things I was told or believed.And I never was any of them.

I read some where to write down a belief on a piece of paper and burn it and as it is burning say out loud "I am so happy to be letting go of a part of me I no longer need".When you believe things about yourself,negative things,they do become who you are.But I am not really worthless,invisible,useless,etc.

 

[GDPR]

Ya know,it really makes me mad to think about all the messages I received about myself and the world as a child.I really wish I had challenged them years ago instead of holding on to them and believing them for so long!