Newbie Here

[Trapped]

Hello everyone. I am from Canada, and have been diagnosed a couple times with different things. One doctor told me I had PTSD, the next told me I had major depression and the last doctor told me I had borderline personality.

So, I really don't know anymore. I am 22 and live with my family. I tried living by myself, but I was too paranoid about everything. I am verbally abused by my brother,

I had an appointment with my counsellor that I had to cancel back in March and she hasn't returned any of my calls, an my shrink is just there for meds.

Sometimes I wish my brother would punch me or throw something at me so something could be done.

Is that wrong? I sometimes feel trapped and I am hoping that being able to talk to people who have similar problems will help.

Hopefully I can learn some ways to deal with life.

 

[white page]

:welcome2: Trapped,
I hope that we can be of help to you.

 

[Retired]

Welcome to Psychlinks Trapped!

Hope you find some insights here on Psychlinks.

I had an appointment with my counsellor that I had to cancel back in March and she hasn't returned any of my calls, an my shrink is just there for meds.

What type of counselor was this? Any chance the message was lost explaining why your call was not returned? Have you tried calling back?

Are you seeing a psychiatrist as well? When you say "shrink is just there for meds", does this doctor have no conversation with you whatsoever?

 

[Trapped]

What type of counselor was this? Any chance the message was lost explaining why your call was not returned? Have you tried calling back?

Are you seeing a psychiatrist as well? When you say "shrink is just there for meds", does this doctor have no conversation with you whatsoever?

I have called my counselor 4 times and she never returned the calls. I guess she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

It is kind of saddening for me, because I trusted her and I have a really hard time trusting people. I saw 3 different counselors before I found her, and I have been seeing her for over 6 years.

My doctor doesn't have much conversation with me. Our appointments are only 5 minutes long. She asks me if my mood is still the same. If I say yes, I am out of there. If I say no, she asks me how I have been feeling, doesn't want to hear why, then I leave.

Last time I saw her was 1 month ago and she said she was going to tell my counselor to call me, but I never got a call. They both work for the hospital and talk to each other all the time. Now I have nobody to talk to.

 

[Into The Light]

welcome trapped :hithere:

i am sorry you aren't hearing back from your counsellor. what if you went down to her office in person to find out what is going on? is there someone who can call on your behalf?

 

[NicNak]

:hello: Trapped, :welcome: to Psychlinks!

Glad you joined us.

 

[Retired]

Is the counselor a psychologist, social worker, volunteer?

As has been suggested, you need to return in person to the office of the counselor and ask if that person will follow up with you, and if not could you be assigned a different counselor.

Failing that, contact the psychiatrist and explain the situation, asking for someone else to work with you.

Have you asked the psychiatrist if she could arrange more time with you?

There is no reason for you to endure the abuse by your brother.

Has your brother ever physically abused you?
Can you enlist the support of your parents to control your brother?

 

[Trapped]

Is the counselor a psychologist, social worker, volunteer?

...Have you asked the psychiatrist if she could arrange more time with you?

...Has your brother ever physically abused you?
...Can you enlist the support of your parents to control your brother?

My counselor is a Regestered nurse who majors in social work. She works for the psych division of our hospital. You can't just go into her office, as you need an appointment to enter the building.

I was told psychiatrists are mainly for monitoring meds and hospitalizations. That is why she set me up with the counselor 6+ years ago.

When I was a kid, my brother would lose his temper and throw things at me, but nothing recently. I wish he would do something that would leave a mark, so people would take it more seriously.

He has my mom wrapped around his little finger. He doesn't pay room or board and freeloads off of the rents. He doesn't lift a finger around here, and expects everyone to pick up after him and pay for his food, shelter and necessities. He is a year younger than I am. My mom says things to him, but he doesn't take her seriously. She never follows through with anything. My dad just gets mad when I try to talk to him.

My next appointment with my doctor I will tell her I need a new counselor. It is just going to be hard, because I have a hard time trusting people.

 

[Retired]

It is just going to be hard, because I have a hard time trusting people.

Asserting yourself and advocating on your own behalf has little to do with trust, but more to do with making sure your voice is heard and that you do the best you can to achieve your goal.

You need to begin by having a clear idea as to what your goal or end result for the matter at hand must be. Then you need to take the necessary steps to achieve that goal.

The steps can be the the people to whom you speak, the actions you take such as letter writing, and places you go in order to interest people in your needs and to persuade them to achieve what you are asking for.

Some people you speak to may refuse to help, in which case you speak to someone else. You may choose to speak to that person's supervisor or work through another department, until you find someone who is interested in your problem.

You may need to compromise, which is part of negotiation, because we cannot always get 100% of what we want, so sometimes we need to settle for less.

What you settle for depends on what you are prepared to live with.

So, by asserting yourself in a polite but forceful manner, always keeping control of your temper, you can often succeed in getting what you want.

Be prepared for occasional failure, because sometimes you need to change your goal or your strategy, but by advocating on your own behalf you may just get more than if you remained silent.

Remember the old adage, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease".

You may find the skill of advocating for yourself in dealing with your brother who seems to be dealing with you not as a fellow adult, but as a child.

Your goal would be to work with your brother and perhaps even your parents to re-orient their thinking to see you and your brother as fellow adults and to deal with one another with mutual respect as in adult relationships.

Others may have further suggestions and insights on how their families made that transition in thinking.

 

[Trapped]

Thank you for the insight.

 

[Into The Light]

trapped, do you have a family doctor you could speak to as an alternative to getting a referral to another counselor?

i am concerned about the situation you are in, and that you may have difficulty asserting yourself to get the help you need. i am suggesting your family doctor as a potential ally who could arrange for someone new to take you on as a client.

are you by chance going to college or university where there might be student counseling available to you?

do you have anybody in your life that is supportive that could help you get the right help?

 

[Trapped]

I don't have a family doctor that could do that for me. I will talk to my psychiatrist about it when I next see her.

That is not what I am afraid of. I am not afraid to asert myself if needed. I am extremely scared of change. I have a really hard time around new people, and it would be extremely hard for me to talk to a new counselor. I get extreme anxiety and panic around new people, and I have a hard time trusting anyone. I need a new counselor though, and am willing to try to work past those fears.

I just lost my CMHA worker too. CMHA was told by my psychiatrist that I needed a woman worker, but they refused and gave me a man worker. I tried to make it work, but I just couldn't. I have had too many bad experiences with men that I do not want to let them into my life, let alone give them details of it. My doctor called them to tell them I needed a woman worker, and they said they could only place me with him.

I am not going to college or university. Hopefully I will be going next September. And I really have nobody in my life I can talk to. I think I will call my doctor tomorrow and tell her I need a new counsellor. Thanks guys.