No hope

[no point]

I didn't know the right place to post this. sorry if this is the wrong place.

I cut tonight after about 2 months of not cutting. I slipped up. I had promised myself I wouldn't cut again. I couldn't keep that promise. I made sure to cut somewhere noone would see. Now I want to cut even more. That's all I think about.

Everything is just so hopeless. I can't sleep, I can't go out and be with people. I was going to meet my friends but I just cancelled. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I will see my psychiatrist in two days but I honestly don't think it will help. I don't think anything will help.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Definitely keep your appointment with the psychiatrist. Do you have a therapist? There is hope. It may be hard to find sometimes, but it is there. Sometimes you have to make it yourself.

 

[no point]

Thank you for replying. I will keep the appointment with my psychiatrist even though I don't see the point in seeing her. I don't have a therapist right now because I live in another country. I just came back for a couple of weeks. I honestly don't see any reason in living. I don't think I will ever be happy. Now I sound too self centered. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Cat Dancer]

You're not self centered. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain.

 

[Caligirl]

Keep your appointment you do sound like your in alot of pain, you will get through this i know easier said than done but don't give up there is still hope you can do it be strong for yourself

 

[Yuray]

I honestly don't see any reason in living.

......nor will you when you are mired in depression. Work on the depression, and reasons will make themselves known. You mentioned you hadn't cut for 2 months. Praise yourself for this accomplishment.

Now I sound too self centered.

...and whats wrong with that?

I don't think anything will help.

good point....yet you came in here to share with us, and ask in an off hand way for help understanding your situation. another positive step. keep up the good work.

 

[Into The Light]

depression robs us of joy, hope, optimism, and perspective. one thing i learned was that feeling a certain way didn't mean something was actually true. that being said i can fully appreciate the intensity of your feelings and your pain, i have been there myself and it really is a very difficult place to be. there is hope; you can feel joy and happiness again. it just takes time, effort, and perseverance. but it is possible. i would ask your psychiatrist about your options. maybe you could get some therapy in the country you live in. it is well worth the effort.

 

[no point]

Thanks for all your replies. I really appreciate it.
Today I'm feeling a bit better. I took some sleeping pills since I have trouble sleeping these days. They should kick in soon. I really hate nights. That's when the thoughts really attack and that's when I get very upset. That's when I lie in bed trying to sleep.
Thank you ITL. I will make sure to ask my psychiatrist about my options...if she knows of any support groups or psychologists around the area I live in. I doubt it but it's worth the effort. I don't even know if I'm depressed because today I really feel better although not happy. I don't feel miserable. Do you think it's possible to feel like that when you are depressed? It's the evenings that really get to me. That's when I have these thoughts. So anyways, thanks again for all your help!

 

[Into The Light]

yes it's possible. i had moments too where i didn't feel great but relatively speaking it was better. it made me doubt and made me think things weren't so bad.

sleep is essential in your recovery, i am glad you have something for that. regular, proper sleep will help regulate your moods. glad you will be speaking to your psychiatirst