Odd reaction to stress

[Cat Dancer]

I was thinking about this today. When things are going fairly smoothly I live in a constant state of fear, uncertainty and anxiety just waiting for the bad stuff to happen. When things are going horribly (as they are right now) I feel strangely at peace inside. It's like when things are bad I can live better with it than when things are going well.

Is there any reasoning behind this at all?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

My guess would be that when things are going well you become hypervigilant, waiting for "the next bad thing", "the hammer to drop"... and that elevates your anxiety levels significantly.

Once "the bad thing" happens, it's already happened so you don't "need" to worry about it any more.

Of course, this is one of the classic forms of "twisted thinking"...

 

[Cat Dancer]

My guess would be that when things are going well you become hypervigilant, waiting for "the next bad thing", "the hammer to drop"... and that elevates your anxiety levels significantly.

That definitely makes a lot of sense. It's disconcerting realizing that you're more comfortable with things going very badly.

I hadn't realized it was a form of twisted thinking. That makes sense too.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cbt-cognitive-behavior-therapy/1451-ten-forms-twisted-thinking.html

Can you identify which type(s) of twisted thinking are active in the scenario you've just described?

 

[cosmo]

I understand where you are coming from CD. It is almost easier for things to be going 'wrong' as you are 'comfortable' with that scenario and can handle it in some strange way. But if things are going right it's a bit too unusual and as Dr B said, you are hypervigilant for whatever bad is coming round the corner, as that is what you have been conditioned to believe will happen.

Hope you're ok x

 

[Cat Dancer]

See http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cbt-cognitive-behavior-therapy/1451-ten-forms-twisted-thinking.html

Can you identify which type(s) of twisted thinking are active in the scenario you've just described?

Hmm, let's see:

Discounting the positive, maybe?

Jumping to conclusions?

Magnification?

It is true, cosmo, that I am very used to thinking that things are just about to go bad. I think there's this fear, irrational though it may be, that if I enjoy life then I'm going to be punished severely. So I'm afraid of things going well.

 

[amastie]

I can place in some situations feeling that it is more deserved that the positive. Like much "twisted thinking", it lingers.

 

[cosmo]

It is true, cosmo, that I am very used to thinking that things are just about to go bad. I think there's this fear, irrational though it may be, that if I enjoy life then I'm going to be punished severely. So I'm afraid of things going well.

I am not going to speculate on your past or your diagnosis, but I can understand what you mean from my perspective, and have begun to understand why I feel similar thoughts. Hopefully this story will help you in some way.

I remember on more than one occasion being made to sit and watch my younger sister play in a park whilst being told that I couldn't as it it was 'babyish' (I couldn't have been older than 8 or 9!). So therefore as soon as I do something that I enjoy (as an adult) I feel guilty or 'bad', that I shouldn't be doing it or enjoying it, and that I will be 'punished'. Although I can see the reason for the twisted thinking clearly (I even have a photo of me sitting on a park bench - in Canada, as it happens! - on one of these occasions looking pretty miserable), it is a very, very hard thing to disengage yourself from an emotional reaction that is learnt by parental conditioning at a young age. The child in you's immediate reaction to having a good time / things going well is that it will be taken away at some point in the near future, leaving you unable to enjoy the positives when they happen.

I hope that you can begin to unpick the wheres and whys, and realise that you have a choice to enjoy life without fearing punishment. It may be difficult (I haven't even begun to get to that point!) but I have seen that it is possible (in other people I know) after working on it. Good luck!