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ladylore

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Last night I went to Conituning the Journey support group for the first time. The group is counsellor run, only one other person attended - I didn't mind as I like smaller groups.

I was having a good time, interested in the topics - in my head everything felt ok. About a half hour into the group I started to sweat, shake, and feel cold. I know these are signs of panic but I haven't felt them like this before.

By the time the group was over I was shaking and hoped no one noticed. I was having a good time so that is why I didn't leave. I did say something at the very end and by admitting it my teeth started to chatter.

Today I feel really tired, worn out and my back hurts. What happened?

:thinking:
 

ladylore

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Well its as aftercare group with people with addictions - no longer dealing with the addiction but dealing with life in general. A bit about drinking did come up, dealing with rage and frustration, grounding strategies and the progress and changes we have made from how we use to deal with things to how we deal with life in the present.
 

ladylore

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Well I use to have alot of rage but thanks to my addictions therapist I have dealt with so much of it. Talking about drinking behaviour did make me feel a bit uncomfortable but for the most part I the thoughts in my head were positive...I was going with the discussion. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how I can be feeling positive about an experience and yet have such a physical reaction, with residue I am feeling today.
 

braveheart

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Maybe your body is remembering the aftermath of addiction more than your mind, if that makes sense?
I've had 'underground' panic attacks before when I didn't consciously feel anxious, but my body was telling me otherwise, and in reflection I understood what was causing the anxiety.
 

ladylore

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Come to think of it we did talk a bit about why we became addicted in the first place. I was extremely vague with my experience as its a story in and of itself which I no longer want to hold on to.

Thank you for your support with this one Braveheart.
 

lallieth

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Lady..it sounds like a panic attack related to the topics of last night..We may not be thinking about it consciously ,but subconsciously our brains and bodies remember and act like a trigger.

When I watch people drink alot and get drunk,I remember my days of drinking and being sick etc and that makes me really nauseated..as if I am experiencing these things all over again..

Which makes me realize that I do not want to live this way again,and so it's almost as if my brain/body are sending me a reminder of how bad it was...and WHY I don't want to drink again.
 

ladylore

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Wanted to say thank you for the support yesterday. I called my therapist yesterday afternoon and she helped me sort it out. She congratulated me on being so aware of what my body - feelings, thoughts and physical reactions.

I still don't know what happened as it was the first time this kind of thing happened. But it was that sinking feeling that made me get a hold of my therapist. So between all of you who assisted and my therapist I feel present, in my body with my feelings, thoughts and body sensations coinisiding.

:grouphug::heart:

Thanks again. :)
 

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