• Quote of the Day
    "Hope is the thing with feathers, That perches in the soul,
    And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all."
    Emily Dickinson, posted by Daniel

human

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2005
Messages
2
Points
1
hi im a 21 male . im a good looking guy , finantially im comfortable , im very social , and i have lots of friends , my problem is so confusing ,what ever i do makes me mesirable , i stayed with my last girlfriend three years ,since we broke up i cant find any new one , i really wanna have a girlfriend beside me coz im unhappy and im feeling so lonely , i know lots of girls but when it comes to asking some one to be with me things wont work out ,i dont know whats wrong that im doing even though i know i could really talk to some one especially if she was a girl , but i feel im missing sth , what should i do please help me if any one could .... thank u.....
 

human

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2005
Messages
2
Points
1
please help me

hi im a 21 male . im a good looking guy , finantially im comfortable , im very social , and i have lots of friends , my problem is so confusing ,what ever i do makes me mesirable , i stayed with my last girlfriend three years ,since we broke up i cant find any new one , i really wanna have a girlfriend beside me coz im unhappy and im feeling so lonely , i know lots of girls but when it comes to asking some one to be with me things wont work out ,i dont know whats wrong that im doing even though i know i could really talk to some one especially if she was a girl , but i feel im missing sth , what should i do please help me if any one could .... thank u.....
 

just mary

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
754
Points
16
please help me

Hi Human,

Welcom to the forum, it's nice to have you. I hope you find this forum supportive and helpful, I know I have.

The following quote from your post jumped out at me: "i really wanna have a girlfriend beside me coz im unhappy and im feeling so lonely". This may sound a little quick and I don't know the whole story but perhaps you could concentrate on being happy just on your own and then try looking for a girlfriend. You mention that you're "so lonely", I know how that feels and I know what it's like to just want someone to talk to but maybe just talking to a close friend could help. You mentioned that you had lots of friends, you'd probably be surprised by how many would like to help or just lend an ear.

Take care.
 

just mary

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
754
Points
16
please help me

Hi Human,

Welcom to the forum, it's nice to have you. I hope you find this forum supportive and helpful, I know I have.

The following quote from your post jumped out at me: "i really wanna have a girlfriend beside me coz im unhappy and im feeling so lonely". This may sound a little quick and I don't know the whole story but perhaps you could concentrate on being happy just on your own and then try looking for a girlfriend. You mention that you're "so lonely", I know how that feels and I know what it's like to just want someone to talk to but maybe just talking to a close friend could help. You mentioned that you had lots of friends, you'd probably be surprised by how many would like to help or just lend an ear.

Take care.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,953
Points
113
please help me

Mary echoes what I usually tell clients in your position, human. If you set out to find a relationship, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and on potential partners. An even bigger problem sometimes is that in your NEED foir a relationship you will create one that doesn't actually exist with a person who doesn't actually exist - by that I mean that you will see what you want to see instead of what is actually there.

If instead you focus on making new friends, having fun with old friends, participating in activities you enjoy or trying new ones that interest you where you can share those activities with orher people, you'll do two things: (1) you'll find that you are becoming a happier, less desperate, and ultimately more attractive person; and (2) you'll expand your network of friends and acquaintances and eventually, sooner or later, that will generally lead you to someone you would be interested in havfing a relationship with and who feels the same way about you.
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,953
Points
113
please help me

Mary echoes what I usually tell clients in your position, human. If you set out to find a relationship, you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and on potential partners. An even bigger problem sometimes is that in your NEED foir a relationship you will create one that doesn't actually exist with a person who doesn't actually exist - by that I mean that you will see what you want to see instead of what is actually there.

If instead you focus on making new friends, having fun with old friends, participating in activities you enjoy or trying new ones that interest you where you can share those activities with orher people, you'll do two things: (1) you'll find that you are becoming a happier, less desperate, and ultimately more attractive person; and (2) you'll expand your network of friends and acquaintances and eventually, sooner or later, that will generally lead you to someone you would be interested in havfing a relationship with and who feels the same way about you.
 

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