yeah I would think of that as a loss, but I like the fact that you pointed out that it's also more like a gain, b/c it wasn't a good relationship to be in.. so in a way, it's a loss and a gain.
the fact that you don't have to worry about a therapist judging you is exactly why therapy is a good idea. as for your friend, I think you kind of answered your own question; it has taken time to trust him and this trust has had to grow. I'm the kind of person who can open up fairly quickly to people if I feel like I can trust them, but this can also carry some danger... in terms of relationships though, breadth usually comes before depth, so this is also something to think about (I guess b/c there is that danger of "what will the other person think of me if I tell them 'x'"? so you have to "test out the waters" first...).
the fact that you don't have to worry about a therapist judging you is exactly why therapy is a good idea. as for your friend, I think you kind of answered your own question; it has taken time to trust him and this trust has had to grow. I'm the kind of person who can open up fairly quickly to people if I feel like I can trust them, but this can also carry some danger... in terms of relationships though, breadth usually comes before depth, so this is also something to think about (I guess b/c there is that danger of "what will the other person think of me if I tell them 'x'"? so you have to "test out the waters" first...).
this is so true for so many people. it always seems easier worrying about other people's problems b/c you can be objective and focus on their lives, which in a way eliminates having to focus on one's own. but in the long run this does catch up w/ people if you only ever focus on everyone else and not yourself. the thing is, people are going to take and take and keep taking if you're giving all that you have until you say "enough". it doesn't mean you're not a good friend. the times you have been there for them in the past won't be forgotten so you're not letting anyone down. but in a way they're thinking you're "okay" right? but don't you think you're letting them down more by letting them think that than telling them the truth and still being their 'strength' when you can? if everyone would do that, it would make a lot of people feel like they could open up more b/c you wouldn't always think everyone else's life is perfect. so in a way we're all contributing to that image...
