More threads by jen83


hi, im jen Im 22, a universit student and mother of a 6 year old. I have had issues with my physical appearance since about the age of 10. my view of myself is very negative. Before my son was born, I was happier with my weight and I long to go back to that. My image depresses me every day and I'm very hostile and angry. I need to lose weight but I have no confidence in myself. Every time I try i give up and I dont know why I sabotage myself like that. anyways I need help!! thanks


<edit by admin: References to specific weights deleted. Please remember to be sensitive to the fact that discussing specific weights can be triggering for some members with eating disorders - see forum rules.>


Hi Jen,

I have struggled with my weight and my view of myself all my life. Maybe we can find some answers together.

I always saw myself as fat as a child but when I said that to family members in my adult life, they all said I wasn't at all. When I look at pictures of myself back then, I still think I was heavy. My Aunt's children were all VERY skinny and she was always making comments as to how I couldn't wear their clothes or how my clothes wouldn't be suitable for her children. She denies all of this -but I have distinct memories. Then, in my high school years I had an attractive body and it attracted the wrong kind of attention from students, teachers, and other men. I got into a lot of trouble with men when I was 18 and have found myself more comfortable around men if I'm 20-30 pounds overweight because it's enough to be UNattractive to them. But I hate how I look. So, I've been trying to ask myself if I'm afraid of the men and their intentions or if I'm afraid of my own actions. I'm still trying to figure this out -and in the meantime, I have been losing weight (not on purpose) so it's bringing these emotions out and I'm not sure I'm ready for them. On top of that, I just got a new job in a department that's 95% men. So, I'd like to really get a healthy mind set about my view of myself.

Did someone say something or do something to you when you were 10? And do you have any ideas as to why you have no confidence in yourself?



body image. I hate how they are so distorted and you can't even tell. and how they affect the rest of your life. however, part of body image is also what goes on in your head. so maybe trying to understand why you have such a poor body image might help, b/c it's really not just about losing the lbs you want to get rid of. You need some motivation for that and you need to do it for the right reasons. If you want to do it to be healthier and feel good about yourself great, if you want to do it to make others happy or b/c you equate this w/ happiness, it's not for the right reasons.

what did you do b/f your son was born? did you exercise, eat differently, were less stressed?? maybe trying to go back or start healhty behaviours such as mild exercise, healthy and nutritious meals, and taking some time for yourself will help you get back to a weight you feel comfortable at. I think it's a two- way deal, trying to physically lose weight but also working on your self esteem and body image. you said every time you try you give up. what do you try? starting out on some extreme diet per say is setting yourself up for failure, the same goes for a crazy exercise routine. Do you find it hard to motivate yourself or keep going w/ a routine? What about joining a class ie. yoga, aqua on campus once a week? That way you only have to deal w/ that once a week but it's a set time and day and you have others around you to lend you support. Or going for walks a night w/ a friend to get exercise and have a chance to vent about the day. Even if you can't cook these great meals out of a recipe book every day (maybe you do, I don't know) you could try to focus on making nutritious and healhty meals ie. three times a week as a start if you're under time constraints for ex.

don't give up. try to stick w/ a reasonable plan that is best for you and will give you results emotionally, mentally, and physically in the long term.
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